Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

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How to be a Professional Trader
By Rie Ch. 姫宮りえ
So, you've decided you're really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bored with Team Fortress 2 and you want to take it to the next level: making assloads of dosh. You go onto a trade server with a pair of Earbuds you recieved when you first downloaded TF2 on your ♥♥♥♥♥♥, underpowered Mac. Some jerkoff trades you, and offers you a refined metal. You trade him like the dumbass you are, and you have just made his day. In this guide, I'll teach you how to horde cash.
   
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Determining Prices
You have just been ripped off by some douchebag from a trading server, and your trading career went downhill faster than Miley Cyrus' musical career. Why did this happen? Because you didn't check the prices, you dumb ♥♥♥♥.

Good Price Websites

backpack.tf

This site is good for checking prices because you can band together with your buddies to raise the prices of any items you want. Sure it could get you banned on SteamRep and possibly on Steam itself, but hey, YOLO.

TF2 Spreadsheet

TF2 Spreadsheet is a very good website. It is controlled by single, anonymous person who controls the sheet. If he changes one price, the market shifts. If you can find his Steam profile and befriend him, he can be a very powerful ally.

TF2 Outpost

The grandfather of prices. It is sort of like backpack.tf where you can control the prices. You can sell things for as high as you want on this site, and nobody will give two ♥♥♥♥♥ because they're doing it with you. You can put your craft hat up for 2 ref and eventually some stupid noob will buy it.
Getting Items
There are many methods of getting items to trade with. Here, I'll list some of them if you don't already ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ know from your lack of intelligence. Seriously, Buds for a ref?

Idling

Probably the easiest way of getting items. Go on any server you want, and just sit there. Do nothing. Don't even talk. Just wait for the items to come in.

Asking Politely

Ask around. Go to a server and type into the chat, "can i have free hats and stuff pls?" or something close to that. Some good fellow will instantly dump all his good ♥♥♥♥ into your backpack.

Asking Rudely

Go to a server and type into the chat, "Give me all your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ items. I KNOW how to find your credentials and bank info. You DON'T want 5 boxes of dildos at your doorstep with a footlong bill." or something similar. People will be so scared that they'll give you items no matter what.
Trading Your Items
You can find people to trade with anywhere. Just go onto any server at all and check people's backpacks. After you've added some poor sucker with a decent item, ask to trade with them. Be very polite.

Step 1: Trade talk

They may not be interested in trading. Try to form a conversation.

4:27 PM - Venny_: Yo ♥♥♥♥♥
4:28 PM - Zero-cal Bleach Cola: Wuzzup ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
4:28 PM - Venny_: Yo I saw you have a sick-ass hat man
4:28 PM - Venny_: I wanna trade a ref or somethin for it
4:28 PM - Venny_: You down dawg?
4:28 PM - Zero-cal Bleach Cola: Yeah man let's do dis ♥♥♥♥♥

Step 2: Trading

Be nice to them in the trade and never be hostile. Hostility could give away your intentions.

Venny_: So I'ma give y'all a ref for that sexy-ass hat k? 16:30:24
Zero-cal Bleach Cola: Yeah man let's do it man thanks fo da trade ma ♥♥♥♥♥ 16:30:36
Venny_: Yeah man YMCMB fo lyfe 16:30:44
You added Refined Metal 16:30:46
Zero-cal Bleach Cola added Unusual Bonk Boy 16:30:49
You are Ready 16:30:58
Zero-cal Bleach Cola is Ready 16:30:59

Step 3: After the trade

Never reveal your intentions to profit. If they realize you just ripped their ass off, they're gonna call Gaben.

4:32 PM - Venny_: Yo ♥♥♥♥♥ thanks for the trade man
4:32 PM - Zero-cal Bleach Cola: No man thank y'all ♥♥♥♥♥ fo da trade, swag
4:32 PM - Venny_: Yeah man take care ma ♥♥♥♥♥
Spending Your Newly-Acquired Dosh
After you successfully get all the loads of money from trading, cash 'em in for new stuff.

Cool things include:

Cube 3D Printer ($1300) - Print ♥♥♥♥. IN THREE DIMENSIONS.

Lamborghini Aventador ($400,000) - ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ will be at your doorstep.

Attack on Titan Dangling Keychain (630円) - Who the ♥♥♥♥ doesn't want this?
7 Comments
peapod6 20 Aug, 2013 @ 8:00pm 
wow man after a week of following this guide to the t i have myself all 3 of those cool things you listed-thanks!
winter20k 19 Aug, 2013 @ 8:59am 
awesome guide
tut34 19 Aug, 2013 @ 7:01am 
12/10 top shrek, u sir are a MLG pro 1337 blazing swag fag. thnx for getting me 100000000000000000000000000000009 buds.
YOLO.
Syrio_Forel 18 Aug, 2013 @ 12:58pm 
haha NIGGAAAAAAAsssssssssss
Vagabond | Aura Farmer 16 Aug, 2013 @ 3:02am 
Wow...i never though it was this easy
King👑 16 Aug, 2013 @ 12:51am 
Funny as hell XD
.xeno 11 Jul, 2013 @ 2:11pm 
10/10 helped me get 69 buds thx bro ))