Eyyyyy! Warlordzen-senpai back again to help you in your quest to master Japanese! While Learn Japanese to Survive – Katakana War! is a straightforward edutainment game, I’ll be covering the RPG elements in this walkthrough. Btw, special thanks to CreatorOblivion for reminding me that this series exists. Also, if you haven’t played Learn Japanese to Survive – Hiragana Battle! also by Sleepy Duck, I strongly encourage you to do so. Also, unlike during Hiragana Battle, katakana (the syllabary) is relatively unfamiliar to me as well, so Senpai will learn along with you. Mou ichido anata wa iku junbi ga dekite imasu ka? Yoshi, ikemasu zo!

Dramatis Personae:
Nameable Protag: The MC of this educational epic, starring: you! Or whatever you want to call yourself, even something juvenile or rude! Select your sex, your name, and your personality, the last of which determines your stat progression. Crane tends towards Magic and is weak until you get the Fourth Spellbook in Chapter 9; then magic wrecks everything, including bosses, especially if you increase your speed. Bear tends towards Defense, Resistance, & HP; were this any other RPG, I’d say that this is a good choice. But, while, “Survive,” is in the game title, really, we want to kill Katakana, and there’s no tank mechanic, so you’re honestly better off with a different one. Dragon is a solid choice, being more focused on physical Attacks, which is pretty much how you win the game…at least until Magic finally outpaces you Chapter 9+. Gecko mostly focuses on speed, another good strategic pick, as long as you couple it with high Magic (late-game) or high Attack (the entire rest of the game). Uses Swords.
Skills
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Bolt – Single-target lightning spell. Costs 8MP.
Sooth – Single-target healing spell. Costs 6MP.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Dynamic Zap – AoE lightning spell. Costs 24MP.
Mend – Strong single-target healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Sooth All – AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Lighting – Strong single-target lightning spell. Costs 14MP.
Mend All – Strong AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Rejuvenate – Single-target full heal. Costs 24MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Voltage Storm – Strong AoE lightning spell. Costs 36MP.
Rejuvenate All– AoE full heal. Costs 48MP.

Owen: The Australian surfer dudebro. He’s a pretty ok pick as a party member, but there are better choices. His stats are pretty average and he’s pretty much like a faster, but weaker version of Mischa. If used, he should be mopping up weaker Kana or setting up a two-shot tap-out with another party member. Otherwise, his Magic is meh, with Mischa’s ultimate doing pretty much the same thing as his. In the apartment, he’s located on the first floor, middle left room. Class changes from Cunning Macaque (lol whut?) to Profound Offer (lol) at 500+ Affection. Uses Fists.
Skills
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Firebomb – Single-target fire spell. Costs 8MP.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Ember Burst – AoE fire spell. Costs 24MP.
Hone Speed – Increases Speed & Luck of all allies for 3 turns. Costs 12MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Searing Flame – Strong single-target fire spell. Costs 14MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Volcanic Blast – Strong AoE fire spell. Costs 36MP.
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Surfing Blitz: AoE damage plus Attack & Magic debuff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

Tia: The American tennis genki girl. Okay, Tia rocks as a team member. In fact, for a good portion of the mid-to-late game, she was stronger/better than my Dragon Protag. She’s fast and hits hard, just what we need to win this game, and she has high Defense and HP too. Her Magic and Ultimate are pretty terrible (except the Hone Offense buff spell), but you can’t be great at everything, eh? Besides, she should be smacking things, not casting spells. I recommend highly in any team combination. In the apartment, she’s located on the ground floor, directly across from you. Class changes from Striking Viper to Sentimental Dragon at 500+ Affection. Uses Maces.
Skills
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Gale – Single-target wind spell. Costs 8MP.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Endless Storm – AoE wind spell. Costs 24MP.
Hone Offense – Increases Magic & Attack of all allies for 3 turns. Costs 12MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Wind Blast – Strong single-target wind spell. Costs 14MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Cyclone Tia – Strong AoE lightning spell. Costs 36MP.
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Eternal Reminiscence: AoE damage plus Speed & Luck debuff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

Charlotte: The shy, French, twin-tailed poet girl. She’s one of the three mage-type party members with a good blend of support and offensive Magic. In the early game, she’s not very good, but mid-to-late game, she’s very helpful. Her Attack gets to be not horrible compared to the other casters and her Magic can delete swaths of mobs while being able to heal and such. Not as necessary if you’re a Crane Protag equipped with mage-swords, but a solid choice nonetheless. Equiping her with HP, Defense & Speed-boosting items makes her a force to be reckoned with. In the apartment, she’s located on the first floor, middle right room. Class changes from Humble Tortoise to Brave Koi (lol) at 500+ Affection. Uses Staves.
Skills
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Hailstone – Single-target ice spell. Costs 8MP.
Sooth – Single-target healing spell. Costs 6MP.
Antitoxin – Removes Venom from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Energize – Removes Feeble from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Blizzard – AoE ice spell. Costs 24MP.
Sooth All – AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Mend – Strong single-target healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Revive – Revives an ally. Duh. Costs 18MP.
Echo – Removes Silence from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Stitch Up – Removes Bleeding from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Icicle Strike – Strong single-target ice spell. Costs 14MP.
Mend All – Strong AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Rejuvenate – Single-target full heal. Costs 24MP.
Alleviate – Remove all status ailments and debuffs from a single ally. Costs 8MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Glacial Chaos – Strong AoE ice spell. Costs 36MP.
Rejuvenate All– AoE full heal. Costs 48MP.
Alleviate All – Remove all status ailments and debuffs from party. Costs 16MP.
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Radiant Koi: AoE heal plus Speed & Luck buff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

Daisuke: The glasses-guy sensei. Unsurprisingly, this guy is golden, the best all-around teammate. He’s faster than all the other casters (and some of the warriors), which is a big plus for setting up AoE knock-downs, and his Attack isn’t bad either. He also gets almost as many support Spells as Charlotte, so he can take care of your healing needs if you’re in a fighter-heavy party or want to be a Crane offense mage yourself, though his earth damage spells are a good source of damage. Plus, his Ultimate is arguably the best in the game. You should have him or Charlotte (or maybe both if your MC isn’t a Crane) in your group at all times. One of the top choices. In the apartment, he’s located on the ground floor, bottom left room. Class changes from Wise Sensei to Galactic Sage at 500+ Affection. Uses Bows.
Skills
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Stone Shard – Single-target earth spell. Costs 8MP.
Sooth – Single-target healing spell. Costs 6MP.
Antitoxin – Removes Venom from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Energize – Removes Feeble from a single-target.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Seismic Wave – AoE earth spell. Costs 24MP.
Sooth All – AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Mend – Strong single-target healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Revive – Revives an ally. Duh. Costs 18MP.
Echo – Removes Silence from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Stitch Up – Removes Bleeding from a single-target. Costs 4MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Boulder Crash – Strong single-target earth spell. Costs 14MP.
Mend All – Strong AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Alleviate – Remove all status ailments and debuffs from a single ally. Costs 8MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Tectonic Split – Strong AoE earth spell. Costs 36MP.
Rejuvenate All– AoE full heal. Costs 48MP.
Alleviate All – Remove all status ailments and debuffs from party. Costs 16MP.
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Galaxy Void: AoE damage plus Defense & Resistance debuff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

Andrea: The spunky, Lolita-esq German baker girl with great metabolism. She’s one of the mage-type characters…and the worst, in my opinion. Like Charlotte, she’s slow, but her Attack is the worst in the game, so she often needs another mage to set-up for her…and that’s her job! She’s supposed to be a buffer, having the most buff spells, but that taxes her MP away from dealing damage or healing, of which she doesn’t get as many spells as Charlotte, Daisuke, or maybe even your MC. She also has the worst Ultimate, as it is very situational, and if you’re playing the game right, you shouldn’t need to revive your entire party…assuming Andrea didn’t die first due to her low HP and defense. Bottom-tier; not recommended. Class changes from Peaceful Deer to Tranquil Lynx at 500+ Affection. In the apartment, she’s located on the first floor, bottom right room. Uses Books.
Skills
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Moonlight – Single-target light spell. Costs 8MP.
Sooth – Single-target healing spell. Costs 6MP.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Heaven’s Light – AoE light spell. Costs 8MP.
Sooth All – Single-target healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Mend – Strong single-target healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Revive – Revives an ally. Duh. Costs 18MP.
Hone Defense – Increases Defense & Resistance of all allies for 3 turns. Costs 12MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Shinning Stars – Strong single-target light spell. Costs 14MP.
Mend All – Strong AoE healing spell. Costs 12MP.
Rejuvenate – Single-target full heal. Costs 24MP.
Hone Offense – Increases Magic & Attack of all allies for 3 turns. Costs 12MP.
Hone Agility – Increases Agility & Luck of all allies for 3 turns. Costs 12MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Miracle Aura – Strong AoE light spell. Costs 36MP.
Rejuvenate All– AoE full heal. Costs 48MP.
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Bon Appétit: Revives all fallen allies plus Defense & Resistance buff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

Mischa: “Wait, I’m Misha! ;p” The 4th-Wall destroying Russian rocker-chick. A pretty solid choice for a DPR strike-warrior type. An excellent damage back-up to Tia if you’re a Crane or want an Attack warrior-heavy party. She’s pretty much a better version of Owen, though a bit slower and with slightly less HP. Mischa makes up for that with having a better buff spell (Hone Offense), hitting harder, and being more versatile late-game with not terrible offensive Magic. Class changes from Mischievous Hawk to Daring Raptor at 500+ Affection. In the apartment, she’s located on the second floor, left room. Uses Guitars.
First Spell Book (Warehouse Lab): Signal Wave – Single-target sonic spell. Costs 8MP.
Second Spell Book (Cave): Test for Echo – AoE sonic spell.
Hone Offense – Increases Magic & Attack of all allies for 3 turns. Costs 12MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Counter Amp – Strong single-target sonic spell.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Distortion – Strong AoE sonic spell. Costs 36MP. “YOU ARE DEEEEAD, DEAD, DEAD!”
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Crank it Up to Eleven: AoE damage plus Attack & Magic debuff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

????: The spoiler-free vague final party member! …though you could cheat and simply read ahead o.o. To be honest, I’m not really sure whether to classify her as a warrior or a mage because she’s not very good at either. I know the devs intended her to be the lone wolf badass, but I can’t help but wonder how she even made it that far with the second-worst attack (even lower than Charlotte) and no support spells. She’s tanky and deals good Magic damage, I guess? But there’s no tank mechanic and Charlotte (and Daisuke) can do her job better and more. Her Ultimate is also pretty meh unless you're playing a party of mages...for some reason. Overall, not a good pick. Class changes from Haunted Huntress to Forgiven Savior at 500+ Affection. In the apartment, she’s located on the second floor, right room. Uses Polearms.
Upon joining: Abolish – Single-target darkness spell. Costs 8MP.
Nullify Life – AoE darkness spell. Chance to reduce enemies to 1 HP. Costs 24MP.
Third Spell Book (Aokigahara Forest): Eradicate – Strong single-target darkness spell. Costs 14MP.
Fourth Spell Book (Graveyard): Undo Existence – Strong AoE darkness spell. Chance to reduce enemies to 1 HP. Costs 36MP.
Ultimate (500+ Affection) – Winter’s Darklight: Partially restores party’s MP and Attack & Magic buff for 3 turns. 1/Battle use.

Aside from weapons, anyone can equip anything, btw.

General Notes/Tips: The game is a bit repetitive, but the point is to learn and drill Katakana characters, so it’s a given. It takes about 13 hours overall to finish, assuming you do all the side-quests, and the levels present some variety of challenges/sidequests, so kudos to you, devs, for making mastering Katakana both timely and entertaining. Unlike with Hiragana Battle, the mobs appear on the screen and will start a battle with your party if they touch you, as opposed to the random encounters of the previous game, though they will respawn if you leave one floor/area and then return. The larger the Kana avatars on on-screen, the bigger and/or harder their battle groups are, while golden Kana usually (but not always) indicate Omega enemies. Also unlike the previous game, the action is broken down character by character, so no more preparing your Answers ahead of time and hoping they don’t hit the wrong enemy after the guy you were going to hit got overkilled.

However, also unlike the previous game, Katakana is pretty linear in terms of level design, so there’s not really many mazes or puzzles. A shame, in my opinion, but that’s just my preference as a gamer. If you’re not sure what to buy concerning equips, you can read ahead to learn what loot you’ll find in the dungeons as to not waste 円(yen). Generally, the strategy is to slay the enemies as fast as possible using the Answer command; as such, Speed and Attack are tantamount to ending battles quickly and decisively. You should really only use Guard if someone is close to dying and awaiting a heal from one of your spell-casters. The buff skills are better in this game, affecting the entire party, but killing stuff is still usually more important. Magic (except healing) is pretty unhelpful for most of the game until near the end, unless your caster is directly before a warrior-type who can tap out the bad guy or against bosses.

Also, all Status Effects (Poison – DoT damage after a character’s action. Silence – Can’t use magic…but can still yell syllables to Answer…somehow. Feeble – Some kinda debuff. And Bleeding – cuts max HP in half…ugh.) wear off after battle (except Death and Poison), so that renders most of curative Skills and Items pretty pointless. As with Hiragana,the name of the game is DPR (ok, not really). Strike hard, strike often, strike first. Ganbatte (good luck), grasshopper!

Guide:
Chapter 1 - Osaka: So, our tale begins the way most RPG adventures, both tabletop and virtual, do: inside a tavern! Some guy (totally not a future party member >.>) named ‘Owen’ asks the barkeep for a soda (my, how PG) and thoroughly butchers saying, “arigatou.” Tia (also, totally another future party member >.>) hacks up, “konnichi wa.” “Kouhii o-onegaishimasu,” is what she would have followed up with, but I’m just bein’ a show-off! Anyhow, the silly gaijin will blabber to one another until Owen K.O.s himself with ‘corn soup’ soda…maybe we ought to buy some to poison our enemies with, eh? Not buyin’ that Owen’s accent indicates Australia as his place of origin, but that doesn’t change the fact that he durped up and confused Osaka for Okinawa. After some more chatter, a third person (totally not the last member of your future team….WHEN YOU (me?) ACTUALLY SHOW UP!!) named Charlotte, a twin-tailed cutie, chimes in. No French accent, though, but the shy types are adorbs so whatever.

Meanwhile, you (hereafter, MC) are checking out a bookstore for a book on…learning Japanese! Imagine that! Lol, shameless plug of their other game! Not a moment later, some creepy music will start and some megane (glasses guy) will barge in and say something about evacuating. You’ll gain control of the MC thereafter; talk to the glasses man, since there’s nothing interesting to click on in the bookstore. And then, we get some catchy battle music as our good friends (frenemies?) the incredibly deadly Katakana Warriors show up! Megane will fight them the only way you can: by yelling syllables at them! Afterward, Daisuke, as megane is called (didn’t call him as a future party member…crap, must be losin’ me touch) will invite you into a classroom conveniently close by and offer to teach you Katakana to take care of the new, pervasive, literary menace!
ア (a), エ (e), イ(i), オ (o), ウ (u).

As with my previous guide, I could tell you how to answer the post-lesson quiz, but that would defeat the point of you learning, darou? Ganbarou ze! After you pass, get out there and kick some a$$! There is nothing to click on, after all. Note, if you get too close to the mobs on the screen, they will rush you and start a battle, so no random encounters this time. The vowels have about 50 HP and just smack you.

After the first fight, Daisuke will team up with you and your mission is to kick the spleens in of 8 groups of Katakana baddies, so get to it, soldier! In the center intersection, there’s a room upward with a mob and a chest containing: 60 yen. Go to the next room over to the right; nothin’ in there but a bad guy to beat up. Next room over, more baddies and a chest containing: Revive 1x. The locker room to the right has a golden mob and it says that you can’t enter until later…gee, I wonder that means? We’ll kick that kana’s face in later, for now, go down at the next intersection, fighting the evil-doers. Nothing in the room to the right; left is some kind of pool. Kill the kana guarding the chest with the Gym Uniform, equip it on someone, and move on to the left. Kill, clear, go left. Kill, loot the janitor’s key to return to the locker room in the upper-right to fight the boss mob. Golden A has a shiny move called Omega Crush, but dies the same as the others: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Yeah! Some ‘em your best shounen scream! Once dead, select “I’ll go there later,” when Daisuke prompts you; don’t want to be missing that tasty (Revive 1x) loot, amirite? We still can’t go up the stairs, so return to the classroom for introductions (lol, Owen totally calls MC out on being laughably generic); together, you will team up to triumph over these terrible forces of egregious evil!

Chapter 2 – Katakana Chaos: So, Osaka has been taken over by some crappy, evil fog-stuff a-la Persona 4, or Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, but we’re only on Chapter 2, and we’ve already got us a stealth mission, ladies and gents! Why our ‘Wise Sensei’ Daisuke can’t kill the unknown Katakana Warriors himself isn’t explained, but best avoid them for now. Btw, you’ll get a full-heal soon, so don’t waste your Ramune like poor Senpai here did T.T. The blonde girl to the right of the start says, “Nihongo ga wakarimasu ka?” Which means, “Do you understand Japanese?” FYI. To her right is a grey-haired guy. Above is a weapon sto-, I mean, café. Where you can buy sharp, tasty treats for your character like…not-swords! Actually, don’t buy a Short Sword like durpy Senpai did since you’ll get one in the next mission. Or a Steel Rod, which, fortunately, I didn’t do.

Most of the other buildings are blocked by currently invincible Katakana Warriors or are non-interactive, except for the purple-roof convenience store where you can purchase restorative items. A blonde man says, “hoteru,” while means hotel…near the hotel, imagine that? But, you can’t enter it. Anyway, unsurprisingly, the lady with the orange !! over her head is our goal, so talk to her and go into your room at the apartment, which will act as your base/restoration place for this game. Not much to do in your room but sleep, so do it! Afterward, you can walk around town if you wish, but there’s not much to do except continue the lesson by talking to Daisuke at the school in the north-west. Tia is by the convenience store, Owen is by a boarded up house in the north-east, and Charlotte is by the train station to the north near the other blonde girl. Talk to them to form your party, though 1 will be left behind since your max size is four; Daisuke takes up a party spot by default, but you can boot him if you wish by talking to him. Not sure why you would, though, since he's one of the best party members in the game. You’ll also get access to the Affection tab! Word! Man, I’m pretty psyched if this turns out to have a dating sim side-mechanic! Yes, I’m that kind of Senpai…huehuehuehue >:D! Work them Social Links! Affection passively increases as you adventure (gain 3 per battle) with those particular party members and by making certain positive dialogue choices. Though, you can make the jerky dialogue decisions and it won’t bar you from future events; it just makes getting them take longer.

The only other thing of note is the purple crystal next to Daisuke, that, for those of you who played Hiragana Battle should be quite familiar with. But, for those that aren’t, you can spend 10 BP (Bonus Points from side quests) and to level-up and a now new item here (Crystal Shards) to get stat-increasing consumables. Warning, though. Don’t use BP if you’re on the verge of leveling the old-fashioned way, since it bumps you up to the next level, regardless if you’re close to it or far away. Anyhow, talk to Daisuke to learn the K & G-group Kana: カ (ka), キ (ki), ク (ku), ケ (ke), コ (ko), ガ (ga), ギ (gi), グ (gu), ゲ (ge), ゴ (go). For those of you who took martial arts like Senpai did, you can now yell, “キアイ,” or “Kiai!” Which is what we’re going to do to the Katakana jerks loitering around the mall to the east like a bunch of yakuza thugs; you should be able to recognize the カ character now. The K & G-kana have about 75 HP and a new skill called Runic Whisper (magic dam). Smack ‘em around and once those ginks are lickin’ pavement, either heal up at the apartment and proceed into the mall or just ゴ!

Inside, there’s a straight path right, fight a Kana and keep right until you meet a lady who thanks you for saving her and gives you a quest to save 6 other people trapped by the nefarious clutches of the eeeeeeevil Katakana Warriors. Why the Japanese can’t waste these guys themselves is never explained, but that’s what we heroes are for, I guess, eh? Don’t bother trying to enter the buildings; you can’t. So, go right, kill the kana and loot the Bicycle Helmet. Save the tsundere man to the right. Go down and make your way to the left, saving the silver-haired man and getting the chest containing: Revive 2x. Keep left, fight the kana, rescue the girl, and grab the 612 (what a random number) yen in the chest. Go down, fight the Golden Kana, which have about 100 HP and a fun new skill called Omega Crush (physical), and save the lady. Head right, fight, save the boy, head right again (surprise surprise), kill, grab the Short Sword in the chest (told ya, solja) and rescue the last person. Ooo, she has a sprite, so she’s obviously important. Like the rest, she’ll thank us and then promptly disappear…but with the promise of a reward later. Cool!

Anyway, good job, grasshopper! We’re done here! Or…NOT! A mysterious lady appears to give a cryptic warning before we get attacked…BY A FREAKIN’ OVERLORD KANA!! It has about 100 HP and a two-person attack called, unimaginatively, Overlord Strike (physical…despite its fiery animation.) Except, you need to kill it 5 times, coming back as a different Katakana character with each respawn. After that guy is toast, the sprite girl from before will catch up with your party, introduce herself as ‘Andrea’ and, after more bants, she’ll offer to join the team. It’s getting rather lively as yet another spunky person onboard, eh? She’ll be by the Hotel if you want to add her to the team. Anyway, we cooooould talk to Daisuke to continue the mission, buuuuuuut, let’s take a little break from saving the world to do take part in a very old, time-honored adventuring tradition: side quests!

After sleeping, talk to the blue-haired guy outside the apartment with the very obvious orange !! over his head. He’ll go over basic Japanese greetings. I could tell you how to answer the quiz…except I won’t >:D! Yes, yes, I know. Senpai ga aku da! (Senpai is evil!) Afterwards, you’ll receive 3x Ramune and 2 delicious BP. And now, okawari! (Seconds)! Talk to the blonde twintails girl near Daisuke for another side-quest. Same deal as before. Upon clearing it, you’ll get a Wakazhi and 2 BP. Yeah! Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! Anyway, there’s nothing else to do here but talking to Daisuke to continue our lectures. Or, as indicated by the pink smiley (if his affection is 100+), he’ll prompt us to hang out first. Eh, why not? As long as Senpai doesn’t accidently get stuck on a yaoi route, we’re good. Of course, if you’re into that, I won’t judge 😊. You’re given three responses: the top being a negative, the bottom being the best (+20 affection), and the middle, is well, the middle. Since I also am a sci-fi nut, I chose the bottom…hope the pink hearts don’t indicate something beyond a bromance >.>. Anyway, continue your lessons from before if you like. Senpai’s Fun Fact Corner: You can equip Charlotte’s and/or Andrea's dress onto a male character if you’re feeling particularly trapy. It doesn’t actually do anything, but it’s funny.

Chapter 3 – Searching for Truth: Before you start on the next group of S & Z-group Kana, you’ll learn some location vocabulary. サ(sa), シ (shi), ス (su), セ (se), ソ (so), ザ (za), ジ (ji), ズ (zu), ゼ (ze), and ゾ(zo). Now you too, can stare awkwardly at people in Japanese. “ジィィィィィ” 0.0 Or, “ゾゾゾゾ, no that’s a horrible laugh.” Most of you probably won’t get that reference (sigh). Anyway, you heard the man! Get to the warehouse to the southeast to have a showdown with your new favorite punching bags! These guys have about 100 HP as well as three new single-target attacks: Runic Clamor (magic), Katakana Slash (physical), and Venomous Ink, which, unsurprisingly, inflicts the time-honored RPG status of DoT poison. Rest up (if you want) and enter the warehouse.

We’ll meet the mysterious red-head lady…who’s totally not the arch-villainess! Well, regardless of her motivations, she gives us a book on how to use magic, so, even if this is some elaborate long-con, we got at least that much, eh? After you all gather around and cease being muggles, some bad guys will conveniently show up, knowing full-well that they’re going to get their a$$es kicked by your shiny-new magic! Go forth, my young apprentice! Show no mercy! Do not hesitate! And then your transformation to the Dark Side will be complete >:D! Anyhow, after you’ve had your fun, we need to track down that cryptic kimono lady…but we need a key-card to access the door she left from. Too bad no one is a Rogue with Disable Device…or a hacker. Going down the left or right stairs doesn’t really matter. Head down and towards the center of the warehouse…evil mastermind lab…thing! Head right and up at the fork to get the Leather Jacket inside the chest after you kill the Kana guarding it. Now you can be an edgy anti-hero! Or pi$$ off PETA >:D.

Now go left and up left to kill the dude guarding the next chest with the Serum 3x inside. Going up the right path to the top, there’s a nearby chest containing: Canned Coffee 3x. Not sure why the mad scientists need to put that in a box, but, hey, they’re mad scientists, so wth not? ‘Cause I’m guessin’ the Katakana Warriors don’t drink coffee. It must suck being floating masses of literary evil. Wonder if they should unionize or something. Plight of the minion-class aside, head left like a pinko, kill a kana, and go down the stairs. Walk down and then head right to walk up two flights of stairs to get the Steel Rod inside the (not-so) secret room chest. Now, work them glutes by going back down the stairs and head down into a big room. Fight the Kana (or don’t) and head up the left fork to get to the top room with a chest containing: Revive 2x. Now, head down and slightly right into the room with the red-braid girl, who’s a scientist who gives us that card key we’ve been searching for. She’ll also tell us that a pair of woman claiming to be hunters came earlier to fight the Katakana Warriors. So CKL (cryptic kimono lady) has a friend too, eh? The plot thickens. But, before you rush off the fight da boss, head up the stairs to the right for another workout and box o’ Brass Knuckles. Head through the door, kill the guard, heal up, and head up the stairs for a cut-scene with our new frenemy! She’ll insist that she’s not Evil-aligned, but turn a laser fence on and make you deal with the Obake…which is an Overlord Kana. Same story as before, kill it 6x times, each incarnation having about 100 HP and Overlord Strike. Owen will be rightly pi$$ed at CKL, who will continue to be cryptic and offer to explain the whole Katakana Warrior problem…which I suspect is Hana’s (from the previous game) doing…tomorrow! Cliffhanger alert!

And then a (another) spastic person will show and kick the 4th Wall down, meta-ing harder than a bad D&D player! Meet Mischa, from Mother Russia, with love. Unsurprisingly, she decided to join our party, so at least we have a Bard now, so that’s cool, right? You can find her in town by the park. We coooould advance the story by studying with Daisuke and our best frenemy, but let’s do some side-quests first! Near the train station in the north is a blonde meganekko to get a quest to fight some extra-special Purple Kana back in the Street Mall. They’re located in the center of the map and are distinguishable by looking like a giant ‘?’. They’re pretty much like the other K/G-Group Kana, with 105 HP; loot the Wonderful Monster Core from their lifeless literary corpses >:D! Return to learn some Hiragana adjectives, Chainmail, and 4 BP. The purple-haired man nearby seems to be a bit more concerned about his cool, spiky hair getting wet rather than getting kicked the crap out of by Katakana Warriors, but if my hair defied gravity, I suppose I’d have different priorities too. Go to the convenience store nearby and buy him a new Umbrella for 560 yen. Why he can’t buy one himself, not sure, but when you return with one, he’ll give you: 2000 yen, 3 BP, AND let you keep the Umbrella, which Charlotte can use to beat the crap out of Katakana Warriors with, lol. What a nice guy! Now I feel kinda guilty about my eeeeeeeevil plan to buy him the girliest Hello Kitty Umbrella available. Ah, well.

At this point, if you’ve kept a consistent party, you should have two new Affection Events available. In my case, it was Tia & Charlotte. Their stats increase even if you pick the negative choices, btw. For Tia, I picked the tea option, since I’m a cultured snob who prefers tea over coffee. Plus, it sounded nicer than the other, even though I do dislike coffee. Besides, she’s sounded so peppy; it was cute. Speakin’ o’ cute, for Charlotte (who’s not taking, “no,” for an answer…oh dear, is she a yandere in the making?)…she seems rather concerned about her effectiveness in battle. Aww…the shy try-hards are always adorbs <3! There’s no cheesy, “I will protect you!” line, so, “I’m counting on you,” works instead. When you’re done the dating sim part(s), talk to Daisuke to advance da storiez.

Chapter 4 – Secrets Unraveled: So, we start off this lesson by learning the CKL’s name: Kyoko. So much for her being Hana -.-. Anyway, we start off learning that the Katakana Warriors are actually Obake, Japanese demons made from bitter, angry spirits and mundane objects. In Shinto mythology, Obake are formed when everyday objects are wasted or treated with disdain. Nice tie-in as to why we’re being attacked by floating syllables of doom, devs! In D&D we call them Animated Objects, unsurprisingly. Anyway, nerdom aside, the previous game is referenced about the ‘Travelers’ who defeated the Hiragana Warriors…some of you will get that reference. Anyway, we learn more about Kyoko and Satomi, the Spirit Hunters. After some more back and forth, Kyoko will come up with a vague and mysterious excuse to not join our party and trash everything, and it’ll bring up that study screen you know and love! タ (ta), チ (chi), ツ (tsu), テ (te), ト (to), ダ (da), ヂ (dji), ヅ (dzu), デ (de), and ド (do). You’ll also learn the bonus ー symbol, which indicates a long vowel and the double consonant symbol, lower-case ッ. They’ll also briefly mention small vowels before giving you yet another quiz! Ganbarou ze, kouhei!

After you (hopefully) pass, get yer a$$ to the train station to the north! We wouldn’t want to be late to catch the Katakana-kicking Express to loot & exp, would we? Enter after bum-rushing the T & D-group Kana bums (115 HP w/Katakana Slash) and Daisuke & Owen will have a bro, “I laike traeins!” conversation. Charlotte will also join their…train of thought, while Tia will fangirl over planes. After some comic-relief chatter in which our heroes weren’t miraculously ambushed by Kats, you’ll get a quest to find the maintenance control room, which is located to the right, but as good, heroic adventurers, we prioritize loot & exp over advancing the main quest, so head instead to the bottom left section to get a Defense Ring from the chest. After, head to the maintenance tunnel in the upper right and what as Owen tries to put the moves on Mischa and Andrea and gets himself K.O.ed instead. Doesn’t actually affect his HP if he’s in your party, but it is amusing. Sorry, bub, no security cling for you…or me.

Anyway, head allllll the way to the left to fight a Kat for a chest containing Muscle Drink 3x. Head down and to the right into a small tunnel to fight some more Kana to get a chest containing a Strength Ring. Head back out to the left, go all the way down, and then to the left to open a box housing a Short Bow. The hall above this one has the door to the control room, but DO NOT go in it yet. We have more bling-bling to swipe, grasshopper! Head all the way over to the right to obtain the Staff inside the Kana-guarded chest. Now, head up one row and then to the right for a fight and a treasure box containing: Chainmail. Okay, now we’re done! Head to the left-most second-to-the-bottom tunnel; fight the big Kat and enter the control room. After Daisuke and Owen screw up-I mean, I fix everything, we’ll have to head back to the train platform, but why do that when there’s more treasure to collect? Like the Revive 3x and the Ramune 3x sitting right there! Step out into a brave new world, since apparently Owen & Daisuke managed to destroy the space-time continuum thanks to their Nat 1 on their Repair Check. That or like the great, mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma, they serendipitously discovered dimensional shifter device! Muwhahahaha!

Anyway, in this bizarre new dimension, you’ll get attacked by….ENGRISH!!!! AHHHHH!!!! Not again! After a full-heal and some meta-bants, bash up the Engrish Obake (110 HP w/Katakana Slash & Runic Whisper) with their corresponding Katakana. After they’re toast, we get a quest to hunt 6 more mobs, so hop to it, grasshopper! Head down and to the right, fight. 5 more. Head up at the intersection and into the first tunnel on the right, fight. Up and the connector tunnel to the left; 3 more. Up and right, fight. Now head all the way left; kill the Kat. Head down and to the left to finish off the final one. And sadly, there wasn’t a single scrap of treasure T.T. Anyway, after they’re all dead, you’ll be magically (technologically?) teleported out of that weird, cyberpunk-dimensional tunnel. Apparently, the Kana from before were polite enough to not ambush us during conversations, but not their Engrish boss. Cue that boss battle background music, ‘cause it’s Overlord time! Same deal; kill 6 of the Engrish all with 105 HP each. Afterward, the trains will magically (technologically?) come back online…but they don’t actually go anywhere, FYI. Any, rest up and do some side quests!

First is the brown-haired boy next to the convenience store. Head inside, buy the Bento Box, and give to the kid, and learn some snack stuff! Gain a Circlet and 3 BP. Next, talk to the brown-haired girl in the park. For passing her cash moneiz quiz we get 4000 “en” and 2 BP! Cool! No other side-quests at this time, but you might have some dating sim events to go do. In my case it was: Tia, Daisuke (no ♥♥♥♥), and Charlotte. Didn’t think Tia was serious about the teddy bear. While Senpai is not very into pushies, in this fantasy parallel universe, it would mark the very first time that a girl has ever given anything to Senpai, so I went with the, “I love it,” option. For Daisuke, I asked about the hero’s last words, if out of curiosity rather than anything else. I get it, though. Senpai gets attached to fictional characters more than real people too. Idk what the writers were thinking for Charlotte’s event, but I’ve never heard of koi fish being particularly malicious, so I went with the, “It won’t bite you,” choice. Still…regarding “koi,” depending on how you write it in kanji, it can reference either the fish (鯉), or love (恋). It’s a fairly common Japanese pun, actually. And based on her reaction/thinly-veiled innuendo, we’re probably not talking about the fish >:D.

Anyway, when you’re done flirting, you’ll notice a new person near Daisuke with red swords crossed over her head. She’ll take you to a castle floating in the sky filled with monsters (totally not Aincrad >.>), called the Challenge Castle. There, you can use full-heal crystals and fight weird blue Kana with 1 HP that attack you with an insta-death attack called Dreaming Blitz, but you get no exp or money for fighting them and they infinitely respawn in the endless loop of the castle hall, so it’s kind of pointless unless you just want to review Kana or farm Affection. Which you can do either by going back to areas you’ve already been (profitable) or talking to Daisuke (not-so-profitable). Speaking of talking to Daisuke, talk to him and let’s move on.

Chapter 5 – New Friendships: After a long sequence of random blabber, we’ll learn some clothing vocab. Then you’ll learn the N-group Katakana: ナ(na), ニ (ni), ヌ (nu), ネ (ne), ノ (no), and take the quiz you, as usual. Congratz! You are now the Knights-Who-Say-ニ ! Well, you heard the man! Get moving, champion! Let’s go liberate Osaka from the Katakana menace! Bonzai! The N-group Kana have about 120 HP and use Katakana Slash and Silence, a new magic attack that can restrict spell-casting. It doesn’t matter whether you fight the ones in the north or the south; they both die. Somehow. Anyway, as you try to leave town for sweet-sweet freedom at long last…you’ll unceremoniously fall down a hole into a cave filled with Katakana Warriors, not break your legs (somehow), learn about Owen’s corn soup addiction, and get stuck with an ‘Escape from LA’-type quest…all because no one made a friggin’ Spot Check!

Welp, time to get moving…after you open the chest containing the Revive 3x located conveniently close by. Head down across the rope bridge and to the right to trigger a battle with only you teaming up with Kyoko to fight some N-group schmucks. Where everyone else went, idk, but whatever. After they are dead, Kyoko will give you the next spell book; righteous! Kyoko will ‘join’ you but be too weak to fight or something…whatever. Head right, grab the Cough Drops 3x inside the chest. Omega Kana here have about 180 HP FYI. Head down and cross the bridge to the left; there are two islands, with a Kat patrol and a chest on each, one with a Magic Ring in a box, the other with a chest containing: Deluxe Ramaune 3x. Now go back to the fork and continue along the right path, collecting the Resistance Ring aside the chest as you go. Head up and get the Knight’s Helmet as you continue along upward. The bridge you choose to the right don’t matter; all roads lead to Rome here…and to the exit blocked by the Overlord Kana. Same like all the others; kill 5x times, each form having about 120 HP. Unlike the other Overlords, this guy has Venomous Ink, nothing you’ve haven’t seen before. After that guy is dead-zo, the real BBEL will (kind of) reveal herself: ‘you thought it was Kyoko, but it was her, Satomi!’ Bwahahaha! Anyway, her evil plan to blow us all up with dynamite might have worked…if she didn’t actually blab it to us seconds before so nonchalantly. Yeah, that’s definitely not going to bite her in the a$$ in the future, eh? Let’s ensure that it does…by leveling up with some more sidequests!

Every arch-villain’s worst nightmare! Anyway, rest up, head out and smell the sakura because the bad fog is gone now! Kyoko will inform you that she’s now able to be added to the party for realz now. Anyway, about those side quests: there’s a red-head girl by the weapon sho-I mean, café. She complains about being thirsty, so give her three Canned Coffees. Dam, she’s either going to be really hyped-up or really have to pee. Or both. Either way, she’ll still probably be thirsty, but that’s not our problem. She’ll teach you some phrases and grammar as well as trade you Deluxe Ramune 3x for your Coffee and give you 3 BP. Now, to the man in the suit near the hotel plaza. He’ll complain about being too lazy to eat cakes and send you to go buy some from the man in white near to the entrance to the train station. Buy one and return for food-based phrases, grammar, a Magic Robe, and 3 BP. At this point, I had Daisuke at 500+ Affection, so he geeks out over sci-fi and then lays inta ya with some bro feelz. The hearts and the tone were a bit much for my boring hetero sensibilities, but I’m sure the fujoshi out there were squeeing to high heaven. Disappointingly, all unlocking his (or anyone else's) apartment does is allow you to revisit the previous scenes…and provides fetish fuel for slash writers >.> Unless you’re playing as a girl. On a mostly unrelated note, talk to Daisuke again to continue the game.

Chapter 6 – Exploring Japan (finally): We begin this chapter with Kyoko explaining why she’s with us now and that Satomi is now the BBEL…and a very intense(?) Katakana lesson, the H, B, & P –groups this time: ハ(ha), ヒ (hi), フ (fu), ヘ (he), ホ (ho), バ (ba), ビ (bi), ブ (bu), ベ (be), ボ (bo), パ (pa), ピ(pi), プ (pu), ペ (pe), and ポ (po). Now you can say childishly immature things in Japanese like ププ orピピ!

Anyway, my stupid jokes aside, leave Osaka when ready for some sweet, sweet freedom…to go pretty much no where! You’re supposed to go to the Lighthouse, but let’s go stop off in Hiroshima first, since we can’t go into Kyoto nor east past the Calahadras (nor through Moria, apparently. Dam-it, I really wanted to fight a Balrog T.T). If you played Hiragana Battle, Hiroshima is pretty much a copy pasta, but there’s a weapon sho-café with shiny new stuff (DON’T BUY THE AREBO OR THE NAGINATA) and there are side quests to do. Accept the dark-haired man’s to hunt the monster in the Warehouse Lab and then go to the hospital (marked with the ubiquitous medical cross) to accept another slayer quest in the Lighthouse; convenient. Finally, go into the café (marked with a martini glass for some reason) and talk to a silver-haired man about fi-fis. Pass his quiz and gain: a Samurai Helmet and 2 BP. Now return to the Warehouse Lab in Osaka; walk-in and kill the giant ? monster, which are actually just 3 Purple Kana with about 120 HP a pop. Once they’ve been popped, return to the dark-haired Hiroshima man for country vocab, a Shinobi Hood, and 4 BP. Now, casually bump into the Kat mob on the world map to fight some H, B, P-group punks. They have about 160 HP and use Runic Wail (magic), Silence, Venomous Ink, and Papercut (magic, can cause Bleeding).

Enter the Lighthouse and smack the Purple Kana conveniently located nearby; they have about 200 HP and have Katakana Bullet (physical), Papercut & Silence. After they’re toast, you can go back to the blue-haired girl in the hospital to learn some random verbs and obtain Samurai Armor and 4 BP. Anyhow, back to the Light House. There’s not much to do on the first floor except continue up the path; the second floor is where we encounter our first maze. Man, going up this thing to light the Beacons of Gondor must be a real pain for the poor sod stuck with this job. Or at least it was before the Katakana monsters ate him and put him out of his misery. R.I.P. random, likely old, lighthouse-keeper man! We barely knew ye! Well, actually, your existence was a mere hypothetical so… Anyway, the maze: Keep on the upward path to find a chest containing: Medkit 3x. Now take the downward path at the intersection with the Arebo (told ya not to buy one 0.0) inside the chest there. Go up the center fork and follow the path up the stairs. Go straight forward past some Kats to find not one, but TWO chests with an Energy Ring and a Life Ring. Now head left, clearly. On this floor, fight the punks guarding the chest containing the Speed Ring in the upper right corner, then proceed left. To confront Satomi (who kinda just saunters off unopposed by our heroes…guess they’re too nice) and (surprise, surprise) another Overlord Kana. Kill this guy’s 130 HP incarnations 6x times.

Afterward, we’ll learn that Satomi, unsurprisingly, is evil and aligned with the Obake/Kats, and that she wants to amass an army of them at Aokigahara Forest. Buuuuuut, saving the world can wait; we have another side-quest to go. Aside from Kyoko, there’s another red-head standing outside the apartment; talk to her and go buy her a Junior Guitar at the caf-oh, forget it! That lame joke is getting old! It’s a weapon shop, ‘kay? Definitely not a café/front for the yakuza or something (since owning weapons without whacky permits is illegal in Japan…even friggin’ katanas!) and return for: music vocab, 3 BP, and a crapton’a moneiz (10K en). Apparently, the red-head is a lazy ojou-sama or something. On the subject of troublesome red-heads, I had Kyoko’s first Affection Event at this time. A kuudere, huh? I answered, “Nope,” though, since I was having a crappy day before working on this guide. See, gang? Senpai doesn’t always go for the usually obvious best answer. Poor Owen always gets thrown under the bus and Andrea & Mischa are practically irrelevant. At this point, I also had both Tia and Charlotte at 500+ Affection, obtaining their powers, class changes, etc. Dam-it, Tia! Senpai is supposed to be the Dragon…with my totally awesome Dragon Energy…or something! Tch, oh, alright, fine! Senpai will share, but only because you’re cute. Tia’s pretty good, but Charlotte is still best girl, though. However, neither are actually romanceable, as feelz-heavy friendship is about as good as it gets ‘round these parts. Bummer… Now Senpai is sad T.T. Anyway, as always, talk to Daisuke when you’re ready to advance.

Chapter 7 – Darkness Rises: We begin with bants, as usual, this time with thinly-veiled references to certain bands that will remain pseudonymous >.>. Andrea will finally be relevant again before trotting off with Tia to make cupcakes…not to hide that she’s actually a J-pop otaku >.>. And Mischa will try to be relevant by hitting on Daisuke for some reason. And, as usual, everyone hates Owen. You’ll learn some appliance vocab before the M –group kana: マ(ma), ミ(mi), ム(mu), メ(me), モ(mo), and some travel vocab. Leave the city when ready and head east towards the mountains to learn that Owen can do useful things…occasionally. Aww…Tokyo is a boring scene transition switch in this version! Oh well. Shikata ga nai, darou? Anyhow, attack the M-group Kats, which have about 180 HP with the same attacks you know and love…to not get hit by. After they’re dead, enter the forest for some girls (+Daisuke) talk (about ghosts); yay for our third spell book! Now Kyoko can channel her inner Mikami and ‘SAKUJO!’ enemies! Yay! Though, I thought the English, “DELETE!” was funnier :p.

Archaic Death Note references aside, head north and a little off the path to find a chest with a Naginata inside. Must have been a long, skinny chest. Head right onto the next screen and take the upward path for two chests containing: Cough Drops 3x and Revive 3x. No where else to go except right and then up. On the next screen, go up and then go down and to the left when you reach the grove for a Shinobi Shouzoku in a chest. Now head to the grove in the upper right for a chest with an S Custom 11 (guitar) inside. Head left.

As you wander lost and afraid amongst spirits of the dead haunting the labyrinth of dark leaves, shadows flicker across shadows, drowning out all light and dyeing one other an even deeper shade of black. Should you and your friends perish here in this miserable, oppressively gloomy place, you can’t help but wonder if anyone will ever find your bodies… Or will the black, loamy ground greedily lap up your blood like a starving dog as your body decays and decomposes, your flesh being broken down into nutrients for the twisted, gnarled trees, leaving your white bones as the only source of brightness amidst the endless darkness, the only silent testament that you were once alive, human, and had a name? Or will you simply be spirited away, your soul joining the quiet choir of lamentations and despair, like those of the sorrowful specters all around you, cursing you to fail so you can join them in their ceaseless suffering?

Okay, that’s enough impromptu DMing for this guide. Follow the path all the way around and hug the lower edge until you find the treasure on the right divet on the downward screen, Deluxe Ramune 3x. Now head to the left slightly to find Satomi, who will jerk your party around for a bit for going off on a megalomaniacal speech about helping the Obake take over/destroy the world or something. Then, quite unsurprisingly, she’ll banish us to the N-Zone/Tesseract/whatever with Engrish Obake, groovy music, and treasure. At least she was nice enough to give us a full heal or something Like the one conveniently located right next to you, Revive 3x. Not far away is the first of six Engrish mobs we have to kill, which are about as tough as their Katakana counterparts. Follow the path back out to kill two more mobs. In the next (previous) area, kill the mob directly to your right; proceed up and right where the treasure chest was for group number five. Finally, the last one is below in the big grove where the other chest previously was. No other treasure and you can’t leave out the pathway to the next area; I checked.

After we return to the Alpha Worldline or something, Satomi will be surprised that we made short work of her cronies…except that Overlord Obake…which is the pretty much same as the near half-a-dozen others we’ve disposed off, ‘cept it’s Engrish. Kill six times, each has about180 HP. Satomi will have escaped by the time we’ve killed it, no doubt to plot yet another eeeeeevil plan. Because those have worked so well so far. Anyway, no new quests or anything, so there’s not much to do other than talk to Daisuke to continue the game.

Chapter 8 – Gathering Strength: After a lively discussion on: the origins of shounen ultimate attacks, Mischa’s crush on Daisuke (who is as oblivious as your typical anime man…or possibly gay), and Andrea’s ability to cast UNLIMITED CAKE WORKS!!! seemingly at-will, you’ll learn the R-group Kana: ラ(ra), リ(ri), ル(ru), レ(re), ロ(ro). Now you too can be a Dovakin by yelling フスッロダ! (Fussuroda!) Yeah…I know, I used that lame joke last time too. You can リィィィィィィィィ at it if you want.

Anyway, there’s nothing else to do but go to Akita-Komagatake, fighting the mob in front as usual. The Rrrrrrr-group Katakana are secretly pirates (ok, not actually) that have 200 HP and the same moves you know and hate; make ‘em walk the plank! Hope you invested some points into Climb (heh heh, no one ever does) because we’ve got a mountain to scale, grasshopper! Head right, up across the bridge, and then back against the cliff wall to find a chest containing: Expert Baking Tips. Proceed left, up and right, doing the snake. Head left on tier three to grab a Magic Robe inside a chest in the center of some little land island. Continue left and go down the long ladder to get a chest containing a Mighty Strength Ring. Now, go back up to tier three and go up the little tower thing to tier four. Go straight up to a bonus tier for a Mighty Speed Ring-in-a-box. Head back down to the four tier, head left, and then up to fight the boss. It’s (le gasp) another Overlord Obake with a fun new attack calle Vicious Papercut (physical, high chance of Bleed)! Tenderize 7 times at 200 HP for as fast as you can. Serve when served. Talk to Daisuke to learn stuff and continue your progress.

Chapter 9 – The Journey North: We begin our epic journey with adults behaving like children, as usual for our crowd and everyone will pick on Daisuke, even Kyoko. We’ll learn some school vocab and Y–group Kana: ヤ(ya), ユ(yu), and ヨ(yo). Afterwards, Satomi will unexpectedly crash the class with an unexpected development…and some more busy work. Head north past Akita-Komagatake to some magic teleporter pad thing; fight the Y-group Kats, which have 220 HP and the same ol’ same ol’ stuff. Fortunately, they died near a Graveyard, so they won’t have far to go. Not sure why it’s raining in there when there’s snow all around it; must be evil magic or something. Charlotte won’t be timid this time, Daisuke will derp up with Mischa even with Andrea as her wing woman, and then Mischa will play the tsundere card…and win? Yep, it’s gotta be the evul magikz. In fact, the only thing not weird is that the girls will gangk Owen…again. At least he’ll find the forth spell book for us during Mischa’s love-confession.

Anyway, party bants aside, you have a mission to kill 6 mobs of Kats, so get to it. Too bad they’re not assisted by zombies or skeletons or something. Kill the one floating aimlessly nearby, then head right to fight another. While you may not be able to rob the graves themselves, some do have chests in front of them, so grab the Mighty Magic Ring. That dead wizard or whatever didn’t need it where they went, right? Head right for a fight. Hug the right wall upward until you come to a door that obviously not magically-warded. Grab the Samurai Armor in the chest to the left and head left for another chest containing Mighty Defense Ring as well as the remaining Katakana Warriors to fight. After they’ve all been buried, enter the crypt to the north-east to fight the Overlord Obake. I hope they have 6 pine boxes sized for 210 HP enemies conveniently on-hand. Nothing else to do but go talk to Daisuke for our final lesson together –sniffle T.T- Or, in my case, talk to Kyoko first :P. I went with, “rough around the edges,” since I’m a pretty blunt person, but apparently Kyoko appreciated that. So the kuu starts to become dere, eh? Though I’m hardly the right guy to ask for advice on being a warmer person; Senpai is pretty cold himself. Unless a different sort of warm was implied ;3

Chapter 10 – Source of Evil (Part 1): At the beginning of this lesson, Daisuke will finally crack the whip…just kidding! He’ll act like a goof ball too; bet he’s been waiting the whole game to make that joke, eh? Anyway, you’ll learn the last Katakana after job vocab: ワ (wa) ヲ (wo), and ン (N). There’s actually one other lone consonant in Japanese: V. Not sure why they didn’t include is, but here ya go, grasshopper! ヴ (V). It’s basically the U-kana with a dakuten. Consider that a サヴィス, サヴィス! They’ll also tell you about pronunciation, since Katakana is generally used to spell and say non-native Japanese words, so it needs to be a bit more encompassing than Hiragana, their default syllabary. along with some food vocab. Another one of those magical doo-hickies showed up to the south, allowing you to access the final area, and a new town: Fukuoka. Side-quests…beautiful side-quests everywhere! And shiny-new weapons and armor (DON’T BUY ANY WEAPONS). But back to the side-quests!

Upon entering town, there’s a dark-haired boy in some kind of food court to the left; talk to him to learn some food vocab and gain the Cupid (bow, Daisuke’s legendary weapon) and 2 BP. Close by is a red-head man; speak to him to learn he wants an Ultimate Sports Drink. If he’s really that thirsty it would be much more efficient to drink some water or cheap Gatorade or something, but whatever; we we’ll worry about that later. Past him is an old women; talk to her to learn she needs a panda doll from the shop near the back edge of town. Inside the shop is a little, brunette girl. Speak to her to learn about names; pass her test to gain the Erekigitaa (Air guitar? Electric Guitar? idk) and 2 BP. Now, speak to the shop-keep to buy the panda doll. In order from top to bottom they are: Lion, Crow, Washi (Eagle), Panda*(1280 ‘en), Penguin, Kirin (an Asian mythological beast), and Ahiru (Duck). Return to the old lady for a Sesutasu (Cestus, Owen’s legendary weapon) and 3 BP.

Enter the hotel next to her and talk to the old man; he’ll give you a slayer quest. For now, head back a bit more to talk to the purple-haired lady who ‘insists’ we take her quest. A bit pushy, are we? It turns out she wants a retro radio, but we’ll do that in a bit. Had back toward the toy store and talk to the mustache man nearby. Another slay quest. Head down and talk to the drill ojou-sama…for another slayer quest. Head inside the appliance shop next to her to buy the radio (6250 yen T.T) to bring to the purple-haired woman. In order (top to bottom) the devices are: Oven, AC, Speaker, Computer (for $62.50 –yonk-), Radio*, and TV. Upon returning, she’ll teach you some appliance vocab, grant you 3 BP, and award you with a Caduceus(?, Charlotte’s legendary weapon) for your trouble. Head to Akita-komagatake, go right and across the first bridge to fight the Purple Kana; they have 250 HP. Go to the Graveyard and head right to find/destroy the Purple Kana mob. Now, head back to Osaka and enter the school and walk right to fight the last group of Purple Kana. On the way back to Fukuoka, stop by the hospital in Hiroshima to find the Ultimate Sports Drink in a chest…that the medical staff aren’t the least bit concerned that you stole right in front of them. Tsk, tsk, bad grasshopper! Shift towards Chaos and Evil. Btw, if you haven’t already done so, you gain a chivo for buying Corn Soup from the vending machine, lol. Also the Corn Soup and Warm Custard provide pretty great party buffs, btw.

Anyway, return to Fukuoka to collect a boatload of: vocab, shiny weapons (Trident: Kyoko’s legendary weapon, Chef Master: Andrea’s legendary weapon, Mjolnir: Tia’s legendary weapon & Excalibur: your legendary weapon), and 12 total BP. Now you too can be Saber and invis-swordnuke stuff to Kingdom Come. Why don’cha try out your new toys on those W & N-Kana that have about 250 HP and a new physical attack: Heavy Burden, near the Impact Crater? After they’re toast, return to Osaka for any final prep stuff like: maxing affection on everyone (takes a while, but you get a chivo), spending BP and crystal shards. Talk to Shizuku the brave horse if you wish and then gallop off to save the world! To the Impact Crater!

Chapter 10 – Source of Evil (Part 2): Alright, grasshopper, we’re at the end of the line. Well, circle, technically. Anyway, we start the final level with a pretty simple task: slay 6 groups of Obake, so c’mon soldier, move it! Head down, fight those clowns, and grab the Mighty Life Ring in the chest to your left. Continue down the right path, kill the Kat, collect the Mighty Energy Ring in the chest. Head down and left, kill number 4, and go up slightly to find a Mighty Resistance Ring-in-a-box. Nowhere to go but down and around, slaying the two remaining mobs. After the sixth one is dead, Daisuke will give you a public service announcement about this being the point of no return. Hug the wall, grab the Mystic Blade in the chest, and then save if you wish…though if you’ve followed my guide, there shouldn’t be anything left to do, except Affection events with members not part of your main group.

Anyway, when you’re finally ready to go, “Beyond the Boundary,” (X, Noragami, or Kyoukai no Kanata, take your pick :D) approach Satomi for her epic villainess speech. Obake have feelings too T.T. Not that we heroes care, amirite? Unsurprisingly, we have to kill an Overlord Obake before we can attack Satomi herself, so destroy the 250 HP Overlord 7 times while jamming out to the voiced boss theme. Satomi herself either just punches you or uses a fairly weak wind magic AoE called Vicious Tempest. After her flunky is dead, Punish her. No, really, use the shiny new Punish command in the Answer section until her HP is zip. After the bad, bad girl has been sufficiently Punished, Kyoko will, “THIS IS SPARTA (JAPAN)!!!” kick Satomi into the void. And…the heroes rode off into the sunset, having saved the world!

…just kidding! “You thought it was the end of the game, but it was me, D-” …anyway, after the heroes exhibit pretty much no remorse over killing Satomi (I mean, she was evil and pretty unlikeable to boot) and Owen gets his comeuppance on the girls at long last. Continue down the cave that we (miraculously) didn’t break our legs jumping down (we all must secretly be Silverbrow Humans or something), fight the Engrish Obake, and grab the chests containing: Monk’s Circle, 3x Revive, and Deluxe Ramune 3x. Head down the rope and following the winding path to the right, down and around. Same thing on the next floor, except grab the chest containing the Revive 2x before descending down the next rope. Actually, not sure why the Katana Warriors even left ropes hanging around for pesky human heroes to be able to use, since they kinda just float around everywhere. Also, any heroes strong enough to breach their outer perimeter would be the only ones capable of descending into their sanctum. What sloppy military tactics! I must smack the commander in charge! Err…I already did, so you, in some kinda parallel universe, must do it in my stead! ファイトン, grasshopper!

Speaking of commanders, down the next rope shaft is Satomi, who, like us, is miraculously not dead…next to what looks like a rounder version of Miracle Matter. Or, Cosmos, apparently, who possesses Satomi a la Sovereign. He’ll explain the real reason that Satomi helped him, go on about “reclaiming their lost lands from those eeeeeeevil xenophobic humans,” turn into some kinda dragon-thing, and unload a bunch of attacks into you like the physical multi-hit Truth of the Cosmos and/or single-target Spear of the Cosmos. Anyway, we’ve got cool moves of our own…like Answering the right Kana! Yeah! Burst his bubble, grasshopper! Purge the mutant, the alien, the heretic, and all that! Unsurprisingly, Cosmos is pretty much a scary-looking Overlord Obake, so destroy his 400 HP shield 7 times, though watch out! He’ll switch between Japanese and Engrish! After you break his shields, you’ll have to kill him with the word, “Katakana,” quite appropriately. Afterwards, turn around and walk away as Cosmos-Satomi explodes in slow-motion. High five, grasshopper! You did it (again)! Now let those credits roll!

Senpai’s Affection Advice Corner <3!
Daisuke
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Magic +10, Defense+5, Resistance +5
• “I do. You’re a weirdo.” Affection +0.
• “Nah, you’re okay.” Affection +10.
• “Wait, you love sci-fi too?!” Affection +20.
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Magic +15, Defense+5, Resistance +5
• “Aww… Daisuke, I’m sorry to hear that.” Affection +10.
• “What were the hero’s final words?” Affection +20.
• “Zzz…” Affection +0.
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Galactic Sage - Magic +20, Defense+10, Resistance +10. Learns: Galaxy Void. Gain 1 BP.

Tia
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Speed +10, Strength +5, Resistance +5
• “Nah, I don’t drink coffee.” Affection +0.
• “Yes! I’d love some coffee.” Affection +20.
• “Can I get some tea instead?” Affection +10.
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Speed +15, Strength +5, Resistance +5
• “Oh my gosh… This is amazing! I love it!” Affection +20.
• “Wow, that’s nice. Thanks, Tia.” Affection +10.
• “Oh… great…” Affection +0.
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Sentimental Dragon – Speed +20, Strength +10, Resistance +10. Learns: Eternal Reminiscence. Gain 1 BP.

Charlotte
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Defense +10, Strength +5, Speed +5
• “I enjoy listening to you.” Affection +10.
• “I have nothing to say.” Affection +0.
• “I’m counting on you.” Affection +20.
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Defense +15, Strength +5, Speed +5
• “Er… Yes, definitely, it would. Keep your face covered!” Affection +10
• “No way! You’re completely safe!” Affection +20.
• “What’s a koi fish? Affection +0.
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Brave Koi (lol) – Defense+20, Strength+10, Speed+10. Learns: Radiant Koi. Gain 1 BP.

Kyoko
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Strength +10, Magic+5, Speed +5.
• “Nope.” Affection +0.
• “It’s been okay. Affection +10.
• “It would be nicer if we could chat more.” Affection +20.
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Strength +15, Magic+5, Speed +5.
• “You’re friendly.” Affection +10.
• “You’re rough around the edges. But, with some polish…” Affection +20.
• “You’re cold.” Affection +0.
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Forgiven Savior – Strength +20, Magic+10, Speed +10.
Learns: Winter’s Darklight. Gain 1 BP.

Andrea
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Resistance +10, Strength +5, Defense +5.
• “I love all those things!” Affection +20.
• “I’m kinda watching my figure…” Affection +10.
• “Food sucks.” Affection +0. (I'm pretty sure 99.99999% of humans don't hate food)
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Resistance +15, Strength +5, Defense +5.
• “Put the eggs into the bowl, shell and all.” +0. (lol, so mean >:D)
• “Crack the eggs like a pro.” Affection +20.
• “Roll the eggs out the door.” Affection +10. (trollolololol)
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Tranquil Lynx – Resistance +20, Strength +10, Defense +10. Learns: Bon Appétit. Gain 1 BP.

Mischa
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Defense +10, Magic +5, Resistance +5.
• “Punk rock, duh!” Affection +20.
• “Hawaiian progressive jazz-hop.” Affection +10. (wtf?)
• “I prefer silence.” Affection +0.
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Defense +15, Magic +5, Resistance +5.
• “I love it.” Affection +20.
• “It’s a bit corny…” Affection +10.
• “It should be a heavy metal song.” Affection +0.
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Daring Raptor – Defense +20, Magic +10, Resistance +10. Learns: Crank it Up to Eleven. Gain 1 BP.

Owen
Event 1 (100+ Affection): Strength+10, Defense+5, Resistance +5.
• “Near the beach!” Affection +20.
• “In the big city.” Affection +10.
• “In the middle of nowhere.” Affection +0.
Event 2 (300+ Affection): Strength+15, Defense+5, Resistance +5.
• “Yeah, I’ve had one or two texts.” Affection +10.
• “‘Mates…?’” Affection +0.
• “Dude, my phone will not stop buzzing!” Affection +20.
Event 3 (500+ Affection): Class Change: Profound Offer (lol) – Strength+20, Defense+10, Resistance +10. Learns: Surfing Blitz. Gain 1 BP.