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Just to be safe do not even move your mouse.
Let it idle for about 7 and a half minutes and you'll get the achievement.
The water in the kitchen is on the same table as the knife, just spam click around that area because the object does NOT look anything like a bottle of water (It's blue and rectangular).
For the assassin achievement you don't need to find the sheet or interact with it, just call the number when the police comes. (I never figured out how to turn the sheet over to see the number anyway).
Make sure that you put the ingredients in the pot in this specific order, WATER, GREEN ACID, BLUE LIQUID, RED LIQUID and THEN the drug. Light up the stove with the lighter to get the achievement.
Oh and press E to use an object on yourself.
wouldnty have guessed some of them