First of all, I'd like to at least show you how each weapon looks like so that you might get the idea of what you could potentionally pick up and use.


Starting sword














Ultra greatsword













Hollowed sword













Axe













Hidden sword













Castle sword












Unpickable shield

This one is pretty obvious, you get to pick it up as soon as you start the game. Pressing [E] also makes you start the conversation with the chick nearby, so if you wanna skip the dialogue, just click "Bye".

Note: To pick the sword up, you obviously need to come close enough until you see "pick up" option, otherwise you'll just start the conversation over and over again.

To reach the greatsword, as soon as you start, go forward/left into the "mine" alike place. In there you'll find a fat woman with a mace. You can just avoid her and grab that Ultra greatsword and beat her with it.

A bit of an advice is to try avoiding using this weapon is narrows passages as for the sword can bounce-off from the walls, making you staggered and vulnerable for damage. Other than that, this sword has the longest reach making it the most useful one most of the time, considering all the weapons have same attack speed / damage (as far as I noticed).

[The woods in the middle of the screen, left side of the hill]
To reach hollowed sword, you basically wanna avoid the group of females fighting on a small island and cross over the bridge yet again. If you go to your right from the moment you crossed the bridge, you'll notice a tree with a sword on the ground nearby.
This location is near the dancing dude who you'll want to find for secret sword.

The axe is located near the secondary fortress (if I may call it like that) gates, it's on the ground on a small plain surrounded by grass. It's not hard to spot, just beware of surrounding enemies who can take you down in a few seconds.

There is a hole near the Hollowed sword in the mountain. You can find the location easily by sticking to the mountain and listening to music. It becomes louder and louder as you come closer, there's also a crazy dancer in there with two passive wamyn whom you can't kill.

The Castle sword might be a little bit harder to reach considering the mob around it is a bit larger than usually. Other than that, to reach the sword, simply enter the castle which is right in front of you as soon as you spawn. Once you enter through the main gates, enter the smaller passage on the right side of the wall. It should be a very narrows path meaning you're better off not using Ultra greatsword at the area. The sword itself is near the bit of grass you can find in the corner at the basement. There are 2 enemies as well who seem to be pretty passive unless you strike them first.

I'm either dumb or this shield really is unpickable. So far I tried picking it up in a combination with axe, ultra greatsword, bare handed and starting sword but had no luck. So far, the shield seems to be unpickable regardless of the "pick up" message.

As soon as you spawn, take a few steps back and look around the grass, it should be but a few seconds from spawn point behind you.

Meme game or not, I found this game pretty fun. A bit more content, more enemies and more to story other than placing the stone at the top of castle considering you can just jump over the wooden doors, a few more weapons and enemies - yep, this game could be a lot more fun and enjoyable.
I had fun writing this guide, feel free to correct me, I'm gonna update the guide if the developer choses to update the game himself.