Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

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How to Become a Pro
By ♥♥♥♥ you!
Hello random people of the world! I'm here to teach you how to become a pro at TF2! Mainly because you suck, nah jokes, you may be bad or good at TF2, but I'm gonna show you how to become pro! It's simple just follow this helpful guide and you'll be pro in no time! This short guide is gonna fix you up! Let's get right into it!
   
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Step 1: The Basics
When trying to get better at the game, you're probably thinking,"Gee this is gonna take some time", well no, don't worry, that's why I'm here dumbass!
Scout:
When going scout, you're gonna do alot of running and jumping, so when trying to dodge an enemy by first, jumping to the left, and jump again to the right (make it a double jump). By doing this multiple times while shooting the enemy, the enemy will not only get confused, but frusted and annoyed, this means you're doing well, because the more frustrated they got, the more you try pissing them off, it's a very efficient way. Another way is to simply jump and/or run around an enemy while shooting them, if you succeed, the enemy will keep spining and spining until you have the chance to finish him off, it works best with heavies.
Soldier:
One great way to become pro as soldier is simply rocket jumping. Yes, jumping around carelessly can confuse you're enemy (only if he's retarded) and give you a chance to land and kill him. This method works well when attacking a sniper. Another way is simply using "The Escape Plan". Try damaging yourself until you have low health and then equip the escape plan. Only do this when you're near an enemy. Then run around the enemy hitting him again and again with your escape plan, until he dies. Fail.
Pyro:
Well there's not much to learn about pyro because you can't get pro with him because the class is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NOOB! Your flamethrower can just burn an enemy, then finish him off with your flare gun or shotgun, it's not that hard mate.
Demoman:
Now with the demoman, you need to have a sharp eye. One way of becoming a pro is using stickybombs. Set up a trap in a hidden area and wait for an enemy to come. When an enemy arrives alert him with grenade launcher, wait until he comes close and BOOM! Your stickies will have him blown to bits. When using a shield, make sure you're on a good angle to charge. If an enemy is making his way towards you, simply set up an angle and charge, although bashing him with your shield can damage him, make sure you can get a quick slash at him with you melee, or from a distance while charging use your grenade launcher.
Heavy:
Remember, classes have limits, the heavy isn't an over powered indestructable tank. With the heavy try finding a spot and moving your aim. This will allow you to finish an enemy when they're right in the open. Your shotgun is a great backup plan, use it when running low on ammo or when encountering enemies from far away. Your fists only come in handy when you have no ammo and surviving is a priority.
Engineer:
The only way to become pro as engineer is managed by you and your buildings. After you've built a set of stuff, find a good spot to hide and shoot the enemy when he's getting hit from a sentry, or staying close to your buildings is another great way. Make sure you place your buildings in perfect spots, otherwise enemies could have a bigger chance of destorying them, and the more well placed they are, the more useful they'll be.
Medic:
With the medic, you're going to want to be staying safe and helpful to the team. When healing someone camping in an appropriate spot, duck and cover! If the enemy can't shoot you and only your teammate, your going to survive longer. If the enemy is on the move, follow them, stay with them, and always go behind them. When on your own, your gonna want to use nothing but your syringe gun and your melee. If you can jump around and shoot your enemy, you have a higher chance of surviving. And, if you equip the ubersaw, you'll be able to hit the enemy and get full uber. This'll give you a chance to escape.
Sniper:
To become pro at sniper, you're going to need to act fast. When sniping another sniper for instance, you'll need to move around alot. Wait until the enemy sniper has taken his shot, now's your chance! Stop moving side to side, or crouching (some ways of dodging a sniper), pull out your sniper and aim for the head. A perfect headshot will knock him down. When encountering another type of class, stay well hidden and provide him with bullets in the brain.
Spy:
Becoming pro at spy takes some practice. You'll need to disguise as soon as possible, then cloak and sneak your way to the enemies base. Get behind all the enemies to backstab them without being noticed. When hanging around snipers, you gotta get close and behind, the other snipers don't get alerted until they see you. If a sniper has a razorback, don't risk breaking the shield, pull out you're gun and put a bullet in his head! With Sentries, make sure you sap on run, this means the engineer will chase you (usually), which means your distracting him, but in some cases you'll have to stay and shoot the enemies and let the sappers do their business. Incase there's another engieneer with him, make sure you get rid of him first.
Tips for All Classes:
If you want to dodge, try crouching, then standing back up. If you keep doing this, you won't get hit as much, because the upper part of the body is the main focus for enemies. Also try ambushing enemies and/or sneaking up on them. This works perfectly and will clear the way for weak allies.

Step 2: When Frustration Occurs
Frustration in the game both from you or other people is a very important part (no joke). You may be wondering,"How the ♥♥♥♥ is frustration gonna help", well listen up and i'll tell you.

You:
When getting mad for being dominated over and over again, don't get angry, it's just a game! Getting angry won't achieve anything, and neither will smashing your keyboard, swearing at the person, jumping out of a window or some other way of suiciding, because easily using tips from step 1 will help you get revenge, and that's when it's time to say "Who's dady now, ♥♥♥♥♥!" But seriously, spazing out isn't gonna solve the problem, proffesionals always keep their cool and continue on with the game, that's if you can dominate them, I mean, they're proffesionals!

Other People:
When pissing the heck outta someone, usually they'll threaten to either, ban, murder or rape you. Don't worry, that guy can't do any of those things. First of all he doens't know who you are or where you live! Just ignore him, and if possible kick him from the server (if not admin, get an admin to do it for you). Sometimes they'll just rage quit and leave the server, which may get you the achievement "BarbequeQ", but who cares about that, atleast you got rid of the person (unless you were enjoying annoying him).

Problems:
Somtimes things as little as these can turn into a major problem. I know that happened to me once, me and someone else got into a fight and then all these admins and owners and famous TF2 players got involved, it wasn't fun, trust me. And if you're one of those people who likes going on games like TF2 and just randomly picking fights for your entertainment, don't, it's not fun or cool, it just means you're an absolute idiot. Proffesionals (like me) would know when to break up a fight, or when to leave a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ who likes picking fights alone.
Step 3: Saxton Hale
When you're playing on a hale server, you'll want to be good at it, and look like a pro, so instead of the long wait of becoming good read these next steps and you'll be better than saxton hale himself!
I haven't got the time to do all the classes (mainly because I'm too lazy :P), so I'll name the most important classes, the only ones you really need to get better at, because you're probably good at the other classes already anyway.

Demoman:
With the demoman, you want to find a good place to camp and use your stickies. Find a certain spot and plant some stickybombs, then go out for combat. At long distances use your grenade launcher, when saxxy is coming for you (you're screwed) use your melee and demoknight him. Until you've pisse dhim off enough, run back to your spot, wait for him and then blast him to the moon with Wheatly. Then repeat the plan until you defeat hale (hopefully).

Heavy:
Heavy is one of the best classes for hale, mainly because of ithe amount of damage you can deal. When play as heavy, find a spot that's hard to reach, now, whenever hale gets near, start spining that minigun, it'll do you good. Also try and stay near ammo boxes, they'll come in handy. Also if possible get a medic to come with you or equip the sandvich, because on some hale servers it takes 2 hits to kill a heavy, when he gets a hit, you'll need it. When running low on minigun ammo, pull out the shotgun! It'll come in handy.

Engineer:
Set your buildings up somewhere where it'll take a while for hale to find you, which gives you time to fully upgrade your buildings and set up teleporters. Make a continuous cycle of teleporters so you can frustrate hale and deal heaps of damage. Another great way is hiding in a crate (or any other small room) and set up an exit teleporter at the open end, a dispenser then sentry (or sentry then dispenser, either way works) then an entrance and wait until he comes. When he arrives he'll go for the building at the front (dispenser or sentry) then go through your teleporter and pop out of the other one while hale is standing on it, then you'll deal 9000, but also die.

Medic:
When being a medic, it's good to have a medic buddy. 2 medics makes you practically invincible, mainly because one medic does the healing, and the other attacks hale, when damaging hale fills his ubercharge, he then heals the other medic and the other medic attacks hale. If you continuously do this, you'll deal alot of damage and have a high chance of surviving. If healing a teammate (that isn't a medic) then make sure he can deal some damage at a safe distance. This will give you enough time to fill your ubercharge, while getting damage points from healing your teammate.
Read This!
This is my first guide! And thank you for reading it. It may have helped you, or may have done nothing to help you, you may have just wasted an hour of your life reading this, but atleast it'll help you become a pro. Once again thank you for reading my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ guide, please rate, favourite and share, or go ♥♥♥♥ yourself! Thank you and goodnight everybody! *audience claps*

Credits (no idea why this is here :P):

Created by:
Melon

Edited by:
Melon

Written by:
Melon!

Scripted by:
Melon!!!

Sponsered by:
MELON!!!

Special thanks to:
Melon
Melon
Melon
You
Me (Melon)
The World!

Thank you!
8 Comments
Melon 14 Dec, 2017 @ 1:19am 
wut
AnonTheGreen 19 Jun, 2015 @ 6:42am 
M8IR8THIS8/8
Neiye 18 Jun, 2015 @ 4:43am 
Hey it's my tag >.<
Chef 17 Jun, 2015 @ 11:37am 
saxton INhale XD
♥♥♥♥ you!  [author] 5 Apr, 2013 @ 12:46am 
Dude, I don't really care, I mean, the tips work but this guide wasn't serious, it was my first guide and a piece of shit, just letting you know
Nick 4 Apr, 2013 @ 8:56pm 
but seriously, is this guide serious? it's not good.
Nick 4 Apr, 2013 @ 8:55pm 
I give this guide a no out of ten.
Daniel Ciprian 2 Apr, 2013 @ 5:12am 
BEST GUIDE I MEAN LIKE BEST.
P.S MELON IS A PRO.
IVE PLAYED WITH HIM HES MY BABE
THIS GUIDE IS THE BEST OFFICIALLY LEAVE IF YA DONT LIEK YOU DIRTY SCUMBAG