So, you've started to play this game called Team Fortress 2, probably the bestest of all games in the universe. You find a class called the Pyro. You try playing it, and you absolutely suck ♥♥♥♥ at it. By reading this guide, you will greatly improve.

The Pyro is the best class in the game. He can kill people very easily, usually making the little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on the other team rage. The Pyro that I'm talking about read this guide. The Pyro you are, sucks.

STATS:

Name: The Pyro
Difficulty Level: Professional
Type: Offense
Default Weapons: Flamethrower, Shotgun, and Fire Axe
Speed: Normal
Range: Close

The Flamethrower

This is the default gun. It sucks horse ♥♥♥♥♥. Don't use it.

The Degreaser

It sucks more than the default gun. Why would you want to have a quicker switch speed? So you don't ♥♥♥ in your hand? What makes it even worse is the -10% damage and -25% afterburn damage. Avoid it at all costs

The Rainblower

Same ♥♥♥♥ as the default gun, except it makes everything gay. We all know all professional Pyros enjoy the ♥♥♥♥♥.

The Phlogisinator

This weapon has no downsides, except when you right click it doesn't do some retarded thing that only takes away some of your ammo. If you burn enough ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, you can go into some sorta Super Saiyan mode and ♥♥♥♥ on everything. Use it whenever you can, but you should alternate between the Backburner and this.

The Backburner

Considered the God of all Flamethrowers. This weapon has no downsides, you have to use 150% more ammo to airblast, which is for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You can get crits when you just merely go behind somebody.

They all suck. Never use them.

The Fire Axe/Frying Pan/Conscientious Objector/Freedom Staff/Bat Outta Hell/Memory Maker/Ham Shank/Saxxy

All the same thing. No damage bonus, nothing. Never use them.

The Axetinguisher/Postal Pummeler

Absolutely ♥♥♥♥. Who has the time to switch weapons when you're burning people?

The Homewrecker/Maul

Removing Sappers? Suck a ♥♥♥♥, Engie, Pyro is an offense class.

The Powerjack

Who the ♥♥♥♥ cares about health? All your enemies would be dead from your Flamethrower.

The Sharpened Volcano Fragment

♥♥♥♥ melee. Your enemies would already be on fire from your Flamethrower.

The Third Degree

Absolutely ♥♥♥♥.

The Lollichop

Same as the Rainblower, does nothing but makes everything look gay.

The Neon Annihilator

♥♥♥♥. Most maps don't even have water.

The Backscratcher

Probably the best melee in the game. It gives you 25% bonus damage. The drawbacks are very minimal, because the Medics will be pocketing the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Heavies, and dispensers are in retarded camp areas. Your only reliable health source is health packs, which are given a 50% bonus.

Now that we've covered all the weapons, let's finally look at how you should use them.

What to do
- The Phlogisinator and The Backburner should be used at all times. All the other guns are ♥♥♥♥.
- Shotguns are not needed, as you have enough power in the flamethrowers.
- The melees should be used as an last resort. Only use the Backscratcher, as it is the best melee because of its increase in power, which will kill people quicker.
- Spray around your flamethrower everywhere to set everyone you see on fire. Even if one man is standing, you'll have a chance of dying.
- Don't just run away after setting someone on fire. Continue burning them, moving forward to them when they are backing up.
- Do you think a Spy is near? Go into the console, type in "+left", "cl_yawspeed 9001" and "+fire" to check.
- After killing someone, gloat at them in chat. Some good thigns to type are, "lol noob get better" or, "lol i ♥♥♥♥♥♥ pwned u"
- Never help teammates. The Support classes will be there already, making you useless.

You should now be able to play better and not be a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ that sucks ass at the game after reading this guide. Remember to follow everything I say, as it is very important.


If you followed this guide correctly, you should be able to play Pyro extremely well. Also consider removing all your keys except for W and removing your right click, like the hardcore Pyro in the following video.


I hope you enjoyed my Pro Pyro guide. Happy burning!