Town of Salem

Town of Salem

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How to find Jeebus
By nudle
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How to find Jeebus
Henlo. I shall help you find Jeebus. Now, all athiests know Jesus isnt real. But, there is Jeebus, a close second. Jeebus was real. Jeebus did exist. Jeebus did have the power to bring the dead from the grave. This guide will allow you to find Jeebus.
Where to start on your search for Jeebus
So, you need to search for Jeebus to find true enlightenment and smoke crakeo and marigeiwana with him and snarf cooke and math with him. First, you need to go on WoomyWeb.

Install this OS on your computer, and then look up "Jeebus" an image will pop up. it looks like this.


Lick it, and you will get so high you teleport to Jeebusland. Now, remember, this image only works on Woomyweb, so you cant lick the LSD right here on your screen. Also, you need to complete reading this guide.
You found Jeebus! Or did you?
K, so yoi found jeebus OMG!

BUT WHATS THIS?! Jeebus has been capured by Satoon! DOUBLE OMG

But dont worry, you have powers from WoomyWeb LSD. You will be fine. There are a few steps you need to kill Satoon! First, sing the epic song that goes like this. It will activate your LSD powers.


Your a kid now, your a squid now
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Your a kid your a squid
Splatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata
S P L A T O O N .

Now, if you sung it right, you should have LSD powers. Go ahead, blind Satoon with LSD. Additionally, sing the previous song combined with this song for extra strong powers.

Lyrics
Alright, we're here, just sittin' in the car.
I want you to show me if you can get far.
Step on the gas! (Step on the gas?)
Step on the brakes! (Step on the breaks?)
Now step on the gas! (Step on the gas?)
When I say boom boom boom, you say bam bam bam!
No pause in between, come on, let's jam!
Step on the gas! (Step on the gas!)
Step on the brakes! (Step on the breaks!)
Step on the brakes! (Step on the breaks!)
Step on the gas! (Step on the gas!)
I'm glad you know which way to go, but it ain't gonna stop me, here we go.
Check and turn the signals to the right! (Check and turn the signals to the right!)
Now turn to the right! (Now turn to the right!)
Check and turn the signals to the left! (Check and turn the signals to the left!)
Now turn to the left! (Now turn to the left!)
Woh ho ho ho! Stop the car!
We got an emergency, can't you see?
''Do you know why we stopped the car? (Do I know why we stopped the car?)
Guess... (Guess?) What... (What?)
Do you know why we stopped the car? (Do I know why we stopped the car?)
Guess... (Guess?) What... (What?)
I forgot to close the door. (You forgot to close the door)
Now just don't forget
This ain't kung fu, come on again!
Check and turn the signals to the right! (Check and turn the signals to the right!)
Step on the gas now turn to the right! (Step on the gas now turn to the right!)
Check and turn the signals to the left! (Check and turn the signals to the left!)
Step on the gas now turn to the left! (Step on the gas now turn to the left!)
Step on the brakes! (Step on the brakes!)
Do you know why we stopped the car again? (Do I know why we stopped the car again?)


Now, you should have the power to poop rainbow poop, and this is extra bad for Satoon.

Finally, once Satoon is doomed, chant the final incantation to kill Satoon once and for all.

ni🅱️🅱️a


Satoon should explode.
Satoon is dead. You freed Paraper the vaper̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿
Satoon died, and you freeth the spanky danky Paraper the vaper, a paper thin ra🅱️🅱️ing 🅱️oi who will never go outta fashion. As his name implies, hes also good in the bed ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ.



You also freed the awesome s🅱️anky 🅱️anky gun lenny.

Fear him in all his glory.
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Now, smoke crak and mariggeeeewana with the spanky danky meme men, and gain Immortality from Jeebus. You can revisit Jeebus at any time with the WoomyWeb LSD. How dank. Also, heres a memorial to Gabe, which should be there at Jeebusland.


Sorry for the triggers.
Sorry for the triggers, christians. Before you humorless babies say this isnt a real guide, I KNOW. I made this for laughs, and theres nothing you can do about it. Sorry!
1 Comments
nudle  [author] 16 Nov, 2017 @ 7:33am 
Thank you mt skeltal