"#287 +(1266)- [X]<wild-> so a guy goes to the drugstore, he says 'i need some condoms for my 11 year old daughter' druggist says 'your daughters sexually active at age 11?' he says 'nah she just lies there like her mother'
#415 +(373)- [X]<gloone> thinking that noone is here since it's saturday

<gloone> so that i can kill him with a screwdriver.

<gloone> or a stapler

<gloone> that's what i have here.
#684 +(916)- [X]<C-B0> i put a toad in the freezer... it peed then froze to the bottem...

       then my mom like screamed at me for a week or 2.. it ruled
#993 +(4020)- [X]serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?

ReDPriest:4.5 minutes

serluny:how did u do that?

ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do

that

serluny:what program

ReDPriest:download ♥♥♥♥ into your brain v3.1

serluny:how do i download it?

ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-♥♥♥♥-for-your-brain.com

serluny:i cant download it something is wrong
#1890 +(591)- [X]<Defcon> Heh. I was getting a hair cut the other day with my usual barber, who's this 60 year old vietnam veteran type guy, really uptight and what not. Anyway, he had this TV with the news on, and suddenly they started talking about police who sodomized some hispanic guy with a broom stick. That caused a lot of tension in the barber shop.

<Defcon> "Yeah, so, how about that sodomy? Probably doesn't feel too good." "Nope. Can't imagine it does."
#2501 +(671)- [X]<FuseGirl> life is like a toilet roll, when it's near the end, you panic
#2909 +(62)- [X]<blazemore> i saw a big crack in front of me, then this flash of light.. after that, i can't remember anything.
#3158 +(237)- [X]<aNuBiS-> RaMTuFF: You should know better than to drive under the influence of a hard-on
#5586 +(411)- [X]| Lavalamp is (~lava@www.childrenpalace.edu.vn])

<@madog> vietnam sucks anyway

<Lavalamp> vn = vietnam?

<Lavalamp> maybe that's why it's so lagged

<@madog> *sigh*

<@Guilty> I figured Vietnam would have a wonderful network of fiber since all the holes were already dug
#6176 +(329)- [X]<Hostile> when i woke up i found pictures of Salma Hayek, A turkish guy's

  page and my flip flop in my scanner
#6775 +(696)- [X]<RadiX> I had a thought

<Isando> Wow it must have come as a surprise to you.

<RadiX> at first I thought it was a headache.. I wasn't sure what it was.
#8397 +(229)- [X]<iora> i steal no hearts.

<iora> brains are more valuable on the black market.
#8528 +(11)- [X]<aversion> i have an idea

<aversion> how bout i show you my middle finger and you get offended

<aversion> kthxbye
#8560 +(294)- [X]<@xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants

<@pimp> who was wearing them?
#10676 +(30)- [X]<ZackSmurf> ur a gay cs ♥♥♥♥♥ rnt u skratch

<[-FeC-]sKratch> other than the gay and ♥♥♥♥♥ part, yes
#14790 +(156)- [X]<end> he starts harassing me. and tries to flood

<end> haha

*** Signoff: end (Excess Flood)
#18397 +(123)- [X]<Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag

<Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper
#22096 +(470)- [X]<pooshda> ICQ is nicer than AIM because it doesnt pop up like BLAM I JUST ♥♥♥♥♥♥ UP YOUR BRUSH STROKE ♥♥♥♥♥!
#24262 +(6215)- [X]<booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call, "Creative screwed me like a ♥♥♥♥♥"

<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy

<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among the stars

<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!

<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy

<booradley> :: later ::

<booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you feel?

<neshura> down in front!

<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS ♥♥♥♥ YOU! VRAAAGH!

* audience gasps.

<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels

<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!

<booradley> * hard drive has died

<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks ♥♥♥♥♥ in hell! graaagh!

<booradley> <modem> aaieee

<booradley> *modem has died

<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops

<Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read this season.  Do I smell a Tony award?
#25469 +(339)- [X]<AtrocityX> is there a virus that can make your computer lag? heh

<DeskLazer> it's called AOL
#29291 +(536)- [X]<acetylcholine> if it's 2 things i hate it's racial profiling and arabs on my airplane
#38003 +(241)- [X]<Dayv> Australia is basically Canada with marsupials and funny hats.
#39851 +(145)- [X]<Ti`lana> I saw in front of a church a sign that said "Jesus loves children!" and thought "Yeah, so does his priests.  *smirk*"
#43481 +(218)- [X]<skelter_john> the last challenge involved swimming in icy water, two of them chickened out because it was too cold

<suprdav> bet the nipples would cut glass

<u`creep> THAT should be the challenge
#48028 +(707)- [X]<JaG> whos taking me out to dinner tonight?

<FairWtns> We could do a group thing.

<FairWtns> <ahem> A group dinner thing.

<FairWtns> <ahem> A group dinner meaning food thing.

<FairWtns> Or we could just say ♥♥♥♥ it and see if we could do the group thing.

<JaG> being the only chic in here, im vehemently opposed to the group thing, i dont have that many orifices

<FairWtns> Oh, I don't know, you have enough, I would say.

<JaG> 4 guys, 1 girl

<JaG> NOT enough orifices

<FairWtns> Well, how are we defining 'orifice'

<JaG> its gotta feel good to me too sweetums

<FairWtns> Yeah yeah, "what's in it for me"

<FairWtns> Typical female philosophy.

<JaG> Better than whats in me for it?
#50094 +(20)- [X]<datacide> there's no to old, just too dry, and no too young, just too tight
#59718 +(298)- [X]<Dead_Ice> dial up CS is good

<Dead_Ice> cos ya lag that much you can dodge the bullets matrix style
#60053 +(578)- [X]<seph2k> The idea of old people getting it on makes me SICK *BARF*. MANDATORY CASTRATION AFTER THE AGE 60. Man I hate people.

<toad-> I agree with seph2k

<toad-> I think old people should be killed at birth
#75848 +(132)- [X][Cask] |

[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - *|

[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - */

[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - *__

[Cask] I= ^|^

[Cask] erp

[Cask] I find it difficult to express myself accurately in irc
#78803 +(608)- [X]<Patrician|Away> trust me on this

<Patrician|Away> it was face

<|Tempest|> trust you?

<|Tempest|> TRUST YOU?

<Patrician|Away> im always right on these issues

<Patrician|Away> face will confirm it

<|Tempest|> the last time i trusted you i ended up strapped naked to a low flying jet performing stunts over london

<Patrician|Away> yup

<Patrician|Away> ad got an easy £300

<Patrician|Away> *and I

<|Tempest|> do you know what 10 Gs does to a flacid flapping willy?

<|Tempest|> DO YOU?
#84711 +(120)- [X]<@Chimerasame> pancake bukkake :9

<@Chimerasame> it's just syrup from a bunch of aunt jemima bottles
#123708 +(20)- [X]<@PCG|TMC_MusicmanTRS> ok... whats RIAA??
#138442 +(165)- [X]<Jeeba> You sad sad men.

<Jeeba> I took off of school today to watch the Two Towers' Special Features disc over and over.

<Xylene> and you call us sad.
#147493 +(305)- [X]<-yper-orse> mamma mia

<-yper-orse> my my

<-yper-orse> i cannot resist u

<-yper-orse> mamma mia

<Squeeks> "With Dragon Voice, you too can flood IRC Channels as you sing to ABBA"
#161868 +(372)- [X]* GM_Axis swings around a drop kicks Ras

* Ras backflips

* HairLeMair looks ambient

* GM_Axis strikes fighting pose

<GM_Axis> FIGHT!

<Ras> you cant win

<Ras> because I...

* ChanServ sets mode: +o Ras

<GM_Axis> DAAAAAMN!

<Ras> Am the one

* Ras flies away, doing his superman"