"#136 +(1767)- [X]<LkTruth1> I am the most intelligence person in this channel.
#359 +(102)- [X]<nou> See, I can give women orgasms just by talking to them.

<Art> Hmm. It generally helps if you plug in *both* ends of an ethernet cable.
#370 +(1774)- [X]<Beeth>  Progress (n.):  The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart

<Beeth>  people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.
#691 +(1263)- [X]<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9720]: zirconium (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]

<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9722]: zoology (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]

<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9721]: zoo (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]

<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9723]: zoom (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]

<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9724]: zooplankton (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]

<wankel> WHOA ♥♥♥♥

<mendel> someone tell that luser that dictionary attacks refer to the PASSWORD part.

<wankel> christ, 2000 lines back and he was only in w's :)

<wankel> mankind:~ % grep LOGIN FAILED /var/log/messages | wc -l

<wankel> 8923
#868 +(465)- [X]<OmniGurt> <Zophar> Someone hacked my site!

<OmniGurt> (insert dramatic Wing Commander music here
#927 +(128)- [X]<XAlien88> you can always tell when packet kiddies run a shell provider
#1076 +(86)- [X]<Guilty> Pen your quote db doesnt get updated enough anymore

<Guilty> You should just set up an elaborate #discotheque logging system and grep "guilty" >> quotes.db

<Guilty> Then it would always be fresh
#2180 +(486)- [X](`KGB) I'm going to #jamaica I've always wanted to visit
#3650 +(285)- [X](@watchy): hey io

(@watchy): i am gonna put up a ebay auction

(@watchy): i'm gonna auction my sperm

(@watchy): haha

*** Quits: watchy (Excess Flood)

(@[IO]): or not
#3969 +(132)- [X]<blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend and started talking to us

<blazemore> and asking which bands we like

<blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't heard of any of them

<blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"

<blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"

<ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them

<ScumDog> as a universal message of love

<ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word
#4174 +(300)- [X]<PapiChu1o> i only like DreamWeaver because it takes away the pain of staring at text

<S5474> I use a text based editor because it takes the pain away of pointing and clicking ;)
#6777 +(830)- [X]<FindUrFire> how old are you rad,alone?

<SUPER--RAD> i'm 22 years old alone & with others i'm still 22
#7639 +(190)- [X]<Deth> dont drink open soda cans that are a week old

<o|ooo|o|> not only was it flat, but it had a layer of dust
#8031 +(226)- [X]<iggypop> licking my own sweaty balls > quicktime
#9304 +(1621)- [X]<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance.  Is it anthrax?

<Zeluth> what does it smell like?

<jre> Like semen

<Zeluth> you have anthrax

<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid.  Is it anthrax?

<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?

<jre> Terrible.

<Zeluth> its anthrax

<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes.  Is it anthrax?

<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra

<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.

<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax

<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder.  An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great".  Is it anthrax?

<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE
#15659 +(44)- [X]<toonz> mae-west1#sh access-lists 1

<toonz> mae-west1#oh ♥♥♥♥

<toonz>           ^

<toonz> % Invalid input detected at '^' marker.
#16786 +(474)- [X]<BloodFromStone> I think my bathroom has the perfect geometry, so that no matter where or how something is dropped, it ends up in the toilet.
#16833 +(641)- [X]<grier> you think you're so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ floorless

<grier> so superior

<XfitzyX> do you mean flawless?

<girer> oh ♥♥♥♥♥♥ leave me alone

* grier has quit IRC (Exit: i am so alone in this empty world)
#21981 +(963)- [X](lupin) yeah

(lupin) I'm pissed

(lupin) I went to Wal Mart and they stopped me because I had a backpack

(lupin) and they said "We'll have to hold that for you because of recent events"

(lupin) and I said "Listen, if I were a terrorist, I think I'd pick a better place to bomb or infect than a backwater WalMart.  I'd at least go hit the Super Wal Mart in Bryan because I could go get McDonalds on the way to blowing it up."

(lupin) and they let me keep my bag
#34657 +(119)- [X]<DrNick668> i'd have a bad attitude too if someone put somethin big and round in my mouth and stretched it
#36702 +(734)- [X]<copernicu> what are bad noises for hard drives to make?

* copernicu has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
#38926 +(113)- [X]<Mike|sleep> Redwolf probibly has a record for # of people that setinfo him

<RedWolf> :/

<RedWolf> im soo popular

<Mike|sleep> nah. you just say stupid ♥♥♥♥ all the time.
#38927 +(1077)- [X]<Gemini4t> I'm going to become rich and famous some day when I design a keyboard that has spring-loaded needles hidden inside the caps lock button.

<Gemini4t> Some newbie tries to type 'WOW WUT IS UP???? LOLZ' and instead he types 'AH ♥♥♥♥ MY FINGERZ BLEEDIN'
#46431 +(142)- [X]* Admiral_Justin shoves vex into /dev/null

* Vex Quit (Connection reset by peer)
#56118 +(401)- [X]<Mystiq`> i wish you spoke better english

<[SePtOr]> i should not

<[SePtOr]> i dont have why... you understand what i wanna say... It even matter
#56798 +(921)- [X](Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...

(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show...

(Anon) and bill them in that order

(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans...

(Anon) No no

(Anon) I just want the ticket stub

(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool
#59292 +(1242)- [X]<The-Dude-> i had a best friend..he gotta GF..we hated each other..2 years later we were having DNS tests done for the kids father...

<Kaenneth> ... DNS tests?... to see if you have a common root domain?

<Kaenneth> "Both parents were from aol.com... retardation was inevitable"
#64118 +(711)- [X]<DunSnukIn> im starting to think aol isnt as good as they say
#72130 +(607)- [X]<KKK> hey guys check this out, i can say all the banned words, and not get banned, look

<KKK> ♥♥♥♥ YOU MYDOWNLOADER KAZZA XDCCSPY CRITEN INSIDERZ

* dv sets mode: +b *!*@52DF899E39.addictz.net

* KKK was kicked by dv (banned: Repeated Offence, No Caps! 5min ban)
#86218 +(1791)- [X]<NuclearisWinterius> "Without the USA there would be no France, just a greater Germany" and the guest on the show said "Without France, there would be no USA, just a greater England"

<Method> hurray for france!

<Method> without england, there'd be no USA, just a really big canada where they all spoke french.

<Method> i don't know what's worse

<ari> Without Finland, there would be no IRC and this pointless discussion would not be taking place :p
#138594 +(118)- [X]<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should measure ourselves up to.

<jcarle> Well, may"