"#807 +(311)- [X]<Skywarp> Someone needs to shave zophars head and use his hair as experimental flac vest material
#932 +(354)- [X]<livewire> I would like to put those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who are protesting bonsaikitten.com in glass bottles
#1125 +(213)- [X]<`Tag> you have a lot of anger from efnet in you

<`Tag> and it shows
#4825 +(365)- [X]*** Toramo has joined #---------

<Toramo> It's a full house tonight!!!

<Illuvatar> Can I be uncle Joey?
#6500 +(360)- [X]-^cell^- how fast is your processor?

«tylor» 56k
#8252 +(657)- [X]<HomerHendelBergenHeinzel> ur so mean :L

<q> is that the frowning face of a stroke victim?
#8680 +(135)- [X]<jamesn> max: best become a sales guy

<jamesn> those jobs are easy to get

<jamesn> and you dont need skillz

<undrewb> heh

<MMouse> both. yeah i was thinking sales, but that's like a last resort

<undrewb> but to get into sales, you need to be a superficial wanker with no clue...

<undrewb> oh.. ok :)
#10434 +(151)- [X]<bizzy> great, i get TWO doomed projects

<bizzy> "hey, we canned the guy doing this stuff too. Can you start work

on re-inventing the wheel asap?"
#12475 +(1521)- [X]<flee> my favorite people to talk to on the phone are those

<flee> that are self-absorbed enough that all I have to do

<flee> is say "yup" and laugh at appropriate intervals.

<flee> it's only annoying when I don't know how to detach.

<flee> I should write a program that will say "yup" and

<flee> laugh for me.

<flee> of course, I can't tell anyone this.

<mrg> yup!

<mrg> hahahah
#30268 +(235)- [X]<Mougly> you cant fire me...slaves have to be sold!
#33841 +(-17)- [X]<chikster> lol

<c-rOCK> this is great

<chikster> whats that one quote

<c-rOCK> As #geekissues turns
#34123 +(156)- [X]<daenonok> "it's advised that, after removing new crest white strips&#8482; you find three complete strangers, and give them oral sex, to get the taste of hydrogen peroxide out of your mouth"
#34224 +(118)- [X]<deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth

<deadkode> who the ♥♥♥♥ rents a couch

<RageFury> http://www.rentacenter.com/index.asp

<RageFury> Who the ♥♥♥♥ puts pics of missing kids on their website?

<RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the hot sauce".
#34267 +(190)- [X]<niko> whenever I see a korean media company or game company it's like

<niko> "HEY LOOK WE CAN DO ANIME TOO! AND GAMES WOO CHECK US OUT!"

<niko> "see you don't need japan!"

<niko> "you can use us! and we work cheaper!"
#36197 +(122)- [X]<Punky^Nopants> *scratches head flakes onto pants*

* pantsME adds milk and enjoys
#36684 +(226)- [X]<[Banned-H]G-Daddy>no, see, do a threesome 2guys/1girl... so you have the bigger ♥♥♥♥ (gotta take a chance) and she'll ignore him.. so you can do his boyfriend with him watching :)

<Claus> woah there G!

<Isajeep> rofl

<Claus> "so you can do his boyfriend with him watching"

<Isajeep> I don't call him Gay-Daddy for nothing

<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> er.. her her her

<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> jesus... what am I thinking
#40815 +(885)- [X]<PLUR4Life> COUCH

<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you

<Evil_Couch> err

<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?

<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?

<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?
#42996 +(207)- [X]<Lord-Data> "your dog can be smarter!" ... god .. spam is reaching for ideas me thinks
#46041 +(125)- [X]<My`Albanian`Ass> he said, "all i know is i have a cable modem next to me with lights"

<Ari`s^Stuff> oh it has lights? bonus
#50141 +(175)- [X]* ||XanT|| touches self

<RoseyCat> none of that!

<||XanT||> but

<||XanT||> but

<||XanT||> it feels so GOOD

<RoseyCat> I said NO.

<||XanT||> ..............brb
#52267 +(48)- [X]<@HomeBrewR> "This combo includes a great Asus XP motherboard with onboard video+audio, AMD Athlon XP 2000+ processor with cooling fan & 256MB PC133 SDRAM memory" heh...no bottleneck there

<@DeadKenne> yikes pc133 ram?!

<@HomeBrewR> dk, yeah...exactly

<@DeadKenne> that's kind of like tying one arm and a leg together, then trying to run a race

<@da4> hehe

<@DeadKenne> you'll make it there... eventually

<@DeadKenne> the cpu must have to idle alot

<@da4> "designed by Apple hardware engineers"
#68574 +(143)- [X]<bytraper> what network does kazaa run on?

<OpsuPup> the internet
#74991 +(168)- [X]* deegan is gone. cupcakes and oralsex @ my mom's place
#80967 +(-158)- [X]<apoc|21hours> <jas0n> man im a geek

<apoc|21hours> <jas0n> im trying to find the RGB value of my hair

<Ender> wtf

<Ender> *jas0n TRYING TO BE FUNNY BUT NOT RAEWLLY I BET I PUT MY OWN QUOTE ON BASH.ORG CAUSE ITD MAEK MY FAMOUS ASND I'LL TELL ME MOM AND ALL THE GIRLS'LL LOEV ME FOR THE FUNNY

<Ender> ... yaeh

<apoc|21hours> rofl

<Ender> (im gonna post that on bash.org so i can get the girls and jas0n's mom)
#102160 +(299)- [X]< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine
#102207 +(1837)- [X]<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis

<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play

<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up

<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"

<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin

<kmad> "Drugs."

<kmad> The mom gave me a big old ♥♥♥♥ YOU and stormed off with her kid
#105826 +(242)- [X]<mercury> CANADA: WE PUT THE "U" IN SATIRE
#117337 +(276)- [X]<FireEgl> so hurngy =(

<tito> why don't you eat your ♥♥♥♥?

<tito> heh

<FireEgl> I need something more filling.
#144171 +(1278)- [X]* Jon|Working has joined #twistedmonkey

* Jon|Working changes topic to 'Nerje, you really need to stop e-mailing me porn with cam pics and other such things. It's a nice surprise, but not so nice when your laptop is hooked up to a projector with people looking at it.'

* Jon|Working has quit IRC (Quit: )
#147507 +(506)- [X]<CF> MMORPG players are freaks.

<CF> If I ever have kids, and I catch them doing anything with a computer except for normal stuff like porn and hacking into school to change their grades, I will beat their asses like a red headed step child.
#153226 +(634)- [X]<Hidden_7> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ COMPUTER

<Hidden_7> it is an expensive piece of hardware

<Hidden_7> I've poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into this ♥♥♥♥♥

<Hidden_7> and it won't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ give up the goods

<Hidden_7> so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like a chick it's not EVEN funny
#181913 +(104)- [X]<Milo> the karma chameleon is gonna come by one day, give you a fatal illness, and then piss in your mouth
#190712 +(46)- [X]<Harl> micheal jkackson is being charged

<Harl> FINNALY

<Harl> its ironic tho

<Harl> if he goes to jail

<Harl> Its ironic, because he who sodomized children, will now be sodomized by big men

<Rei> Lol

<Zord`r`> well did he actually sodomize the children?

<Zord`r`> and not just someone wanting alot of cash

<Zord`r`> and frame some famous singer?

<Harl> true

<Harl> ive never heard of white ugly women sodmizing little boys
#196311 +(389)- [X]<muffins> Okay, earlier, when I said "♥♥♥♥" and left, my grandfather came with a truck load of wood for me to cart someplace. Because "Good Christian Young Men" do things like use chainsaws and cart wood.

<muffins> Another thing Good Christian Young Men do is shoot guns. And go to church. I think I'm failing.

<RedBeard> muffins: so kill two birds with one stone. shoot guns in church.
#308197 +(373)- [X](%b0x) there used to be this song by Genesis that said "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm right."

(%b0x) appa"