"I was always amused by each Jarl's progressively more expensive, yet progressively more useless to me gift.

Honestly, what kind of weapon do you give to someone who has the artifacts of eight Daedric Lords, the signature weapon of the king of the elven pantheon, the sword and staff of the First Dragonborn, the relics of Ahzidal, a sword that shoots lasers, and a crossbow made in the design of the ancient dwemer that shoots exploding bolts?"