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Zork Ind. Superstore

Thank you for tuning into channel seven galactic news. I'm Max Focus, and our top story is now! Zork industries recently constructed their largest and most ambitious superstore, proudly hosted by Xhebta 6, a planet yet to suffer collateral damage from the current AI war. The original aim to build a store large enough to serve both factions of said war simultaneously, Blabl Zork of Zork Inc believes his company accomplished its goal. "It's our first experimental steps toward establishing peace in the galaxy,' says Mister Zork. "What better way to bury a hatchet of galactic proportions than spending an almost irresponcible amount of currency on Zork products together?" Despite these assuring words, his critics remain skeptical; some claim Blabl intends to bring the war to Xhebta 6, and monetize off from the Awesomenauts, as his company has done in countless other star systems. Mr. Zork denies this, still mercenaries line up at the doors in hopes to get their hands on Zork products before the other faction. Critics estimate conflict as soon as opening day. For more on this, upgrade to Zork gala-net premium service, and visit gww.zorkinc.mon/news

Map Features:

Standard attack and defense mode plus arena walls for deathmatch modes
Extra solar and health pickups
Two extra shops, both of which available to either team
Free sample button spawns healbot every twenty-eight seconds, compliments of Voltar

Reviews:

Vinnie and Spike
★★☆☆☆
Only three hidey-holes? How's a thief supposed to get the five finger discount, see? Oh wait, I don't have any fingers.


Chucho Krokk
★★★☆☆
They had a nithe thelection of biketh and drop podth, but nothing ath imprethive ath my Ramona.


Coco
★★★★★
OMG!!!!!!!! THEY HAD LIKE SO MUCH STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDD I LITERALLY CANT EVEN!!! LOL!!!


Voltar
★★☆☆☆
I could have buildt a tremendouschly more schuperior schuperschtore, but nein, zhey vould not let me be zhe planning executive. Anyvay, buy mein products, zhey are goodt, ya?


Max Focus
★★★☆☆
Practically wrote a review with my story covering the tension around Zork Industry's latest construction, but my sponcers say I have to do this ...
They had channel seven news action figures, so I guess that's cool.


Commander Rocket
★★★★★
I walked out of that store with firearms illegal in twelve different star-systems!


Ix
☆☆☆☆☆
Commander Rocket walked out of that store with firearms illegal in twelve different star-systems!

Clunk
★★★★☆
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Yoolip
★★★☆☆
Oh is this what all the awesomenauts are doing on the gala-net these days? Ha! Oh, look at me! I'm reviewing things!
1 comment(s)

Froggy G
Dogg, Pls stop


Jimmy and Amy
☆☆☆☆☆(incomplete review)
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Genji
★★★★★
They have so much reading material! I didn't think they'd have all the por--mmm, stuff I'm into, but they- they really think of
2 comment(s)

Leon
Oh I know what you mean Genji /:) also, did you have more to say ..?

Dizzy
Dude, that's messed up


Genji
☆☆☆☆☆
PLEASE LET ME DELETE MY REVIEW!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST THAT!!!