Be calm and insensitive in any negative situations, do not allow yourself to humiliate yourself in front of others. When everything depends on you. You are not a stupid animal that follows the herd forward, you can do more, turn off the path that everyone is following, become something more than primitive animals. Don't trust anyone. Trust is too expensive, it needs to be earned.

Pain is progress. It is possible to develop only through pain and suffering. If you are in pain, know that you are getting stronger with every feeling of pain. The only way to be happy is to love suffering. get used to it, because everything around you is garbage.

Don't try to polemize with stupid people, for them you are a nihilist with a sense of superiority, because that's what it is. defend your point of view only with the person who can objectively perceive everything around you. Objectivity also applies to you, do not dare to insult someone without reason and facts, by doing this, you yourself become worse than garbage. If you said you would do it, then you will go and do it. your words are not just letters - they weigh much more than the actions of some people. Keep an eye on it.

Engage in development, not only in terms of mental abilities, but also physically. You don't need yourself or anyone if you don't take care of yourself. A person who just constantly eats and consumes absolutely everything is an untermensch. find yourself a girlfriend / boyfriend, love her/him, but do not forget that even the person you love can use you as a rag.

You're weak. How much? Very strongly. You are in a deep abyss, no one will help you, understand. Take your life in your hands, only you can do it. This is not some kind of educational life hack, but just life advice, I will not try to help you, although I probably already do it. Just start changing your actions, start doing at least something in your life, and don't cry or whine. Yes, it's difficult, and only a few will understand it, but if I've convinced you, I'm glad.

Something is happening to me. I don't know what to call it, but this process is like a terrible blood transfusion. Life leaves my ability to rejoice and see the good and flows to where there is greyness and blackness. Now I see more and more bad things. He gets paints and spotlights.

I don't have the strength to explain. It's easier to forget. I make an effort, but I can't. With the attention light on, my feelings scatter like cockroaches. And I remain numb. It's exhausting. It's easier for me not to try. This is how my isolation will grow.

One day I'm going to ask you to leave. But you have to stay. No, I won't ask you to stay. So as not to think that you, burdened by me, are staying out of a request, out of stupid forced kindness.

My condition will get worse. A layer of thick foam is growing between us. Today I still hear your explanations, I believe your words. Tomorrow it will seem to me that you are lying. The day after tomorrow, I'll be sure you're lying. And eventually, I won't care.

But you get me out. Don't believe my "no". Hope with me. And when I stop, hope for me. Hope for me instead.

I will become unbearable, ungrateful, an abyss in which all light is lost. And very vulnerable. I will be very offended by you. But for God's sake, don't say, "you chose me." All I hear is "it's your fault." I'm sorry. It's bad. And you want to get rid of me.

Even if you're not sure yourself, don't ask me to choose who we are and what's going on. I will choose my black truth. I'm not able to make a sound assessment right now. But it can devalue a lot. Anything.

I'm laying. On the bed. No, on the floor. Nothing for me. My only regret is that I can't lie even lower.

Desires gradually disappear with life. I'm thinking about suicide. No, I don't want to die. But maybe when I'm hanging with one hand on the ledge, I (oh, a miracle!) I want to live. And life will rush back into me. And this spring will push me out of the abyss below me and out of the abyss inside me.

I can look normal from time to time.
Laughing, joking, playing. But don't be surprised if after a moment I cry or collapse in sudden impotence, and my gaze becomes absent again. My joy is fleeting. My sadness is endless.

This has happened to me before. I was all alone then. I didn't want to bother anyone and quietly shut myself up at home. I was trying to support myself. I didn't believe in "don't-leave-the-room-don't-make-a-mistake." I knew I had to go for a walk. I scraped myself off the bed, put on one pant leg. I didn't have enough strength for another one. I sat in that one, looking at the deflated ball in the corner, until the day got shorter. I'm afraid it will be like this again. If there is, then please help me get dressed and go out. Take me to the doctor.

I'm sorry for everything that's going to happen. I can't rely on myself. But if you're around, what if I can work for you? And talk to me. Even if it seems like I can't hear you. Talk smart, talk nonsense. Talk to me as if I am. Because I am. But somewhere deep. And there has to be someone I can reach out to. However, I will soon stop believing that this is possible. But you still have faith. Believe for me. Believe in my place.