Introduction:

Do you like to argue with random people on your team?
Do you want to learn how to speak simple yet essential Russian phrases?
Do you like to dress up your guns with flashy yet useless skins?
Of course you do, so hurry up get this game and either drop it after a week or play for an eternity!

How to pley csgo:
Step 1: Download it for free.
Step 2: Get lvl 2.
Step 3: Queue up for Competitive.
Step 4: Get destroyed by 5 cheaters.
Step 5: Exit.
Step 6: Buy it.
Step 7: Open it again.
Step 8: Queue up for Competitive again.
Step 9: Team up with 4 russians and get destroyed by enemy team.
Step 10: Quit.
Step 11: Download/Buy cheats.
Step 12: Get banned.
Step 13: Get a virus.
Step 14: Cry.

recommended settings:
voice_enable 0
volume 0
unbind mouse1

Kill someone with a P90 - "You're a noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a P90 through a smoke - "You're a hacker!!"
Kill someone with a AWP - "You're a noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a AWP through a door - "You're a hacker!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you die - "You're a noob!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you win - "You're a hacker!!"
Kill someone with a headshot - "Hacker!!"
Get headshoted by someone - "Owned!!" and get teabagged
Kill someone with a grenade - "Luck!!"
Get killed by someone with a grenade - "AHAHAHAHA"
Get teamkilled by someone - "Get out of the way you idiot!!"
Accidentally teamkill someone - "You're a idiot!!"
Blocked by someone - Dies
Accidentally blocks someone - "Get out the way you idiot!!"
Decide to save - "You're a coward!!"
Decide not to save - "Save you are idiot!!"
Kill someone while defending the bomb - "You are camper!!"
Kill someone while defending the hostages - "You are camper!!"
Someone dies - The deceased one starts to rage
Your team lose the round - Your team starts to rage
Your team is losing 10-2 - Someone rages quit
Go to the balcony in Italy - "You are hacker!!"
Worst guy receives a drop - "Are you serious!?"
Warm up - Everybody tries to spawn kill
Score is 5-1 in your favor - "This is a T map!"
Score is 1-5 againts you - "This is a CT map!"
Lose the first 2 rounds - Someone asks to get kicked
Last round - Everybody buys Negev
Your team is loosin and you are in last - Someone vote kicks you
Win a match - All enemy team rages
Lose a match - Yout team rages
Someone's Internet crashes - 30 minutes ban
Your Internet crashes - 7 days ban