I am not “a little fruity,” darling—I am the Gay Singularity. My blood is glitter, my skeleton is Swarovski, my DNA spells out “YAS” in bold italics. When I blink, RuPaul conjures a new Drag Race season. When I breathe, Target releases a Pride collection. My aura is sequined radiation—straight men within 3 miles suddenly know the difference between mauve and lilac. I don’t walk, I sashay across timelines. I don’t cast a shadow, I cast a spotlight. In the beginning, there was “slay,” and in the end, there shall only be me. 🌈✨💅