Playtime past 2 weeks:
0.3h

View global achievement stats
You must be logged in to compare these stats to your own
44 of 89 (49%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 3:42pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 11:54am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 10:35pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 11:47am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 3:47pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 12:56pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 18 Oct, 2023 @ 5:48pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 19 Oct, 2023 @ 3:26pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 16 Dec, 2023 @ 1:28pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2023 @ 5:42pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 10:09pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 16 Dec, 2023 @ 12:27pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 6:34pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 19 Oct, 2023 @ 2:48pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 21 Apr @ 7:12pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 2 Apr @ 5:56pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 16 Dec, 2023 @ 12:50pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 12:45pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 3:19pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 19 Oct, 2023 @ 1:49pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2023 @ 4:42pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 12:51pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 16 Dec, 2023 @ 1:23pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 3:21pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2023 @ 3:49pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 19 Oct, 2023 @ 1:57pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 10:36pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 3:03pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 11:27am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 2:58pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 12:48pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 16 Oct, 2023 @ 2:56pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 17 Oct, 2023 @ 11:25am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 18 Oct, 2023 @ 5:34pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 4:13pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2023 @ 3:08pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 18 Oct, 2023 @ 5:06pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 8:00pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 5:33pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 3 Apr @ 10:12pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 19 Apr @ 5:52pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 19 Apr @ 7:04pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked 21 Apr @ 6:55pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 2 Apr @ 7:08pm



Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
11 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
6 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
13 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
18 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
1 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
24 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
+11

11 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked