Recent reviews by IDK_just_a_headless_reaper

the power of the Porn, in the palm of my hands

Idk about you, but I for sure do love Ultrakilling. I've been Ultrakilling for so long I've lost my senses. I've gained a few but it really only works on steam. heh, as you wouldn't know until now, I play on controller. Now some people think it's hard to play on controller, but that's only because you play with a mouse. Anyways back to what I was talking about before I had to trail off a little bit there.

I've been ultrakilling since I was born. My pa once said, "Son if you ain't Ultakilling you def in't Ultraliving." and he had a ♥♥♥♥ ton of ULTRAKILLS. A ♥♥♥♥ ton of P you may say. Now what my paw said rang a bell in me. I feel as if I were not born to merely kill, or live. No... I was born to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ULTRA. I AM THE ULTRA. WITHOUT ME THERE IS NO KILLING.

So one day I went to the farm i used to live on. It wasn't special or nothing, just some goats, mills, and a ♥♥♥♥ ton of P. Where'd that P come from? Well, me and my Pa used to go Ultrakilling all over, Kansas, Brazil, New Mexico, Mexico... Texas... All over really. My ma always told me not to be such an Ultrakiller. I tried but shoot. I guess I was born to be an Ultrakiller I think, else I would have stopped then and there.

My brother wasn't the best Ultrakiller, always losing on wave 40 or whatever on normal difficulties. My pa however, he was the best Ultrakiller. I could watch him go all day and not Ultradie. I'd fall asleep and next thing in the morning I woke up and guess what? He was still going! If anybody is a real Ultrakiller it's my Pa. Man I miss you Pa.

I try every day to be just like him, always so focused and ignoring everything around him like it was void. Like nothing was there, just him and the screen... I couldn't achieve it but I did get a pretty high score on brutal. Hell my Pa was much better than me playing on Must Die Edition. I wonder how far he got. He never looked at the score for enough time for me to read it. I think it was about 5 digits though. He was one hell of an Ultrakiller.



But one day... He stopped Ultrakilling. The screen powered off from a power outage. The game corrupted and... He was never the same again. I have no clue what happened to him. Though... On that day he spoke to me for the first time in my life... It was the last time as well. I don't know where he went... But the next morning he was gone. I asked my Ma what happened to Pa but she didn't tell me, she just told me he was out Ultrakilling to his hearts content. I didn't understand it but I didn't ask anymore about where he went. A few years went by and I graduated, got a wife, some kids, and a ranch. It's nice... Now that we can Ultrakill together. But it just isn't right without my Pa. So I tell you this, don't ever stop Ultakilling. Or else you might end up Ultrakilled.

F in chat for jetpack dude

Go fall in a pit


Really I can't take the 2 minute trip taking the hellevator please help