I can be your Astolfo

can we cuddle

do it clap, do it jiggle?
do it stink, do it grip?
is it juicy, do it quake?
do it skibidussy? can it be thrown in a rhombus?
do it spin? is it made out of steel?

I'm telling you, this dude is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day and he was buying cases of Redbull and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said, "they help contain my full power so I don't completely $hit on these kids" and then he bunny hopped out the door, if you think you're good at fps games then you've probably never played against this dude before, because he's just that good

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO ♥♥♥♥ *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

I existed here

sign my butthole

when i was

a young boy

my father

took me into the city

to see a marching band

he said

son when

you grow up

will you be

the savior of

the broken

the beaten

and the damned

he said will you

defeat them

your demons

and all the nonbelievers

the plans that they have made

cause one day

i'll leave you

a phantom

to lead you in the summer