I have never, in my entire life, played a game quite like Gorilla Tag. There have been games in the past that have tried to return me to monke. These such classics include Super Monkey Ball, Donkey Kong Barrel Blast, Bloons Tower Defense 5, and the third chapter of Mother 3. Yet as I played these games, sure I could see the monke on screen, but i didn't FEEL that I was the monke. The aforementioned DK Barrel Blast came close, sure, as I interacted with the Barrel Bongos in real time to mimic DK's movements on screen, but even after all of this valiant effort to emulate the monke, something was still missing. I still felt like the dumb idiot child I was, sitting on the floor slapping plastic bongos for the monke on screen, and not being the monke.

But that was many years ago, and Virtual Reality technology has advanced to the point where all of this changes for the better. The dumb idiot child has become a dumb idiot adult, and the advancements in monke emulation technology have seemingly been refined, and my entire worldview changed when I saw Gorilla Tag in the store today under the VR section.

"Finally", I thought. "A worthy contender for a TRUE monke experience."

Virtual Reality has taken leaps and bounds over the last few years to establish itself as a formidable competitor in the gaming industry, and it sure hooked me in with minimal effort. I can still safely say that my $330 purchase of Beat Saber with a free VR headset was the best gaming investment I've made in 2021 (aside from OMORI), but I'm not here to review Beat Saber. That's for another day. Surely, with the ability to not only play as, but see through the eyes of anything a VR developer can imagine, one day we could experience what us humans have been yearning for since the inception of industrial society; the return to monke.

I saw Gorilla Tag and the first thing I thought was "well, for a gaming experience that puts you in the monke's perspective, they must be charging a full $60 price tag, that would only be natural." But what I saw next physically made me push back my chair and stand in disbelief. Gorilla Tag was FREE! I couldn't believe my eyes! All of this time that I've been PAYING to "return to monke", only for the generous developers at Another Axiom to grace us with this experience at no cost to the consumer.

If there is anyone more worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize than Another Axiom I have yet to hear of them. Corporate CEOs and their oppressed working men and women could set aside their differences and return to monke for no cost now that Gorilla Tag is free. All of this time we've been fighting wars when we could just be playing Gorilla Tag, returning to monke just like we've always wanted. The true equalizer; the monke experience.

I can safely say that Gorilla Tag is every bit of the hypothetical monke experience that the world has been waiting for. In my 18 minutes of playtime, I have never truly felt the monke within me until Gorilla Tag lured it out. I never saw the monke, because I didn't have to; I was the monke, and the monke was I. I observed a glimpse of the monke experience that mankind left so long ago and slap my head on behalf of my ancestors, for they had abandoned this free and equalizing lifestyle for what, "society"? It truly is cringeworthy.

But in addition to this, Gorilla Tag gives me hope; hope that one day, with the further advancement of VR technology, we can make even more monke-returning adventures that will open the eyes of future generations until those with skepticism of the sheer power of the monke die out, leaving the followers of monke renewalism inheriting society with the intent of destroying it to further their righteous goal. Everyone will return to monke with the help of VR, and only then can we create a truly peaceful mankind worthy of this Earth.

Gorilla Tag is only a glimpse of what a monke ethnostate would be like, but it's enough to get the ball rolling, and I cannot be grateful enough that Another Axiom would be the ones to take the initiative on this one. I hope to meet all who read this in the future, where we have all returned to monke and roam the lands of Earth, free from the shackles of economics and law, only restrained by our virtues and kinship for our fellow monke.

tl;dr: funny monke game oo oo ee ah oo oo ah ee ee.