ах ах!'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2020 @ 6:47am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2020 @ 6:12am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 2:49am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2022 @ 2:22am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2022 @ 3:25am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2020 @ 2:19am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 12:26am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2020 @ 4:00am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 12:40am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 4:12am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 18 May, 2020 @ 6:51am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 4:26am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 5:30am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 12:38am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 2:23am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 5:50am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 12:36am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 1:51am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 3:43am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2020 @ 6:44am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 5:30am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 2:45am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 2:18am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 4:50am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 1:24am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 1:36am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2020 @ 6:42am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2020 @ 3:28am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2020 @ 5:46am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2020 @ 6:46am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2020 @ 3:16am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 4:04am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

11 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

8 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

16 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

19 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

3 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

415 / 5,000