literally my favorite 11 year old............

id love to touch his rectum

Twas on the field of Molly Del Ray I noticed a peculiar vessel lining the shore. A pirate by the name of TedStreet exited the ship at the port. A man of obese stature, the slimy scurvy pirate appeared menacing but truly was a swell guy. I was at the bar enjoying some whisky when three redcoats barged in and brandished their rapiers. They claimed colonial control over the area. TedStreet was quick to act and neutralized the soldiers by jumping on them and sitting on them. Quite a smart move. Only one of his farts hath the potency to shatter any soldier's mind into cosmic wind. After his legendary battle, the bar reveled and drinks were on him. All around brilliant man and skillful pirate.

this guy is really weird. to preface this story, I want to talk about how he is chronically ill. He has meningitis and will have it for the rest of his life. I met this guy on the bus heading to the food court. he warned me that he had a stomach ache, but what happened next would scar me for life. You see, when we were waiting in line, we reunited at the chickfila. He said he didnt feel good, and before i could reply, a swamp of green sludge was coming out of his rectum. there were solid, red bits in there and they rose to the top of my boots i was wearing. My lingerie got stained too. in the most unexpected turn of events, a swarm of people came down and recognized him. He started leaking green and reddish water out again. mind you he never took off his pants, or even his tutu while doing this. I have seen that specific tutu go for $216,540. I wonder what his networth is. this was undoubtedly the worst experience ever, and its no surprise he is related to Jeffery Epstein. 0/5 stars.

So lets get one thing straight. i don't like men however when i bumped into ted at the mall i couldn't help but pop a stiffy. His perfectly sculpted middle part defined chin and massive pecs made him just such an attractive young man. so naturally i get his snap and i go to a party with him on Saturday. At the party we played naughty poker with his brother and his girlfriend. ♥♥♥♥ i hadn't thought about his girlfriend getting in the way of my sexy time! so i "disposed of" his girlfriend via a hot sauce boneless wing from cracker barrel so it looked like an accident. Then i went to ted and asked for "the squishy burrito" in his bed, but ted cast a curse of binding on my left nut and the side of my thigh! So now i lived permanently uncomfortable because of my lust. Read the bible kids!

Me and my baby angels have had a HORRIFIC experiane with this atrotious man, I am simply taking a fine stroll in our local park enjoying the fall foilage change, one nanosecond later I hear the most monstrosorus moan of my life, even louder then the shawtys on ***********.com getting ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ by Johny Sins. So anywho I look over ti my sweet baby angel Dexter and there is a massive american flag shoved so far up her ass I can see a buldge sticking out of the top of her head. I look to Tedstreet and the man laughs diabolically while jamming out on his rock guitar to the star spengaled banner. As he flys away on his homemade jetpack I had to rush Dexter to the ER and it turned out he had stage 5 cancer and AIDs! Please alert the United Nations if you see this man!