Veles's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 10:08pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 9:30pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 6:24am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 12:08am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 1:46am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 9:27pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 8:53am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 1:03pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 9:51am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 11:02am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 6:22am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 1 Jun @ 11:53pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 8:32am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 11:40pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 11:30pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2022 @ 3:11am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2022 @ 2:50am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2022 @ 2:11am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 8:22pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 5:00am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 8:08am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 3 Jun @ 11:06am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 4:16am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 12:51pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2018 @ 8:00pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 8:34am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 10:45pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 6:52am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2018 @ 1:21am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2022 @ 2:29am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2018 @ 10:59am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2022 @ 3:04am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 21 Sep, 2018 @ 7:09am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2022 @ 2:29am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2018 @ 9:26pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 12:59pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 24 Sep, 2018 @ 3:32am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

15 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

5 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

9 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30