You looking for quality rice, yes? Are you seeking perfection in the art of rice-growing, yes? Well then today is your lucky day, I've got high-quality rice, home grow by my self, just take a look at these perfectly oval-shaped, smooth and pure white to the core, now that’s some top notch rice! Any question? No? Then shall we get down to the business .....what? Napalm? No, I don't have it but you can ask those Vietcongs staring at you in the bushes over there...

"No! No! There are no American here nor the ♥♥♥ nor the Chinese, get the PHO outa my rice fields!"

Sorry about that, let's go back to business. Alright, where was I? Ahh yes, the rice, now don't you worry I won't overcharge....HOLY MOTHER OF LOVING JESUS! IT'S THE CHINESE! GRAB THE AK!!