บทวิจารณ์ล่าสุดโดย sinhaXmask

Just because the game released rough doesn't mean the game is bad by design, give it a couple patches to fix things and all the complaints will be null and void. Im having a blast!

3 days owned 30 hours played. rock paper scissors with extra steps and mechanics on steroids with anime moves and excessive blindness. 10/10 spent 3 days cutting trees to fix legs

Villager 1: Think it's in there?

Villager 2: All right. Let's get it!

Villager 1: Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

Villager 3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.

Shrek chuckles, revealing himself to be standing behind the mob.

SHREK: Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant.

The mob gasp.

SHREK: Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin...

Shrek slowly approaches as the villagers back away in fear.

Villagers: No!

SHREK: They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

Villager 1: Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

The villager waves his torch in Shrek's face. Shrek casually licks his fingers and pinches the flame, extinguishing the torch. The villager drops it.

Villager 1: Right...

Shrek terrifies the mob with a great frightening roar, his spit extinguishing all the remaining torches. He wipes his mouth and waits for the villagers to stop screaming.

SHREK: (Whispering) This is the part where you run away.

All: (Screaming!!!)

Shrek laughs as the men drop their torches and pitchforks and run away as fast they can.

SHREK: And stay out! (

He looks down and picks up a wanted poster dropped by one of the villagers. He reads it aloud.

SHREK: "Wanted. Fairytale creatures"?

He sighs and walks off. dropping the poster to the ground.

THE NEXT DAY - FOREST

Fairy tale creatures are put in chains and led into wagons by Duloc Guards. The Captain of the Duloc Guards sits at a table paying a line of people their rewards for turning in the fairytale creatures. Those waiting in line include Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Geppetto who is carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer carrying the Three Little Pigs.

GUARD: All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

THE CAPTAIN: Next!

GUARD: (Taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)

THE CAPTAIN: That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

The captain hands over the reward to the villager who turned the witch in. The villager mutters to himself.

Villager: Lousy twenty pieces...

GUARD: Get up! Come on!

Waiting in line is Donkey on a leash and his owner. He looks in horror at the witch and a group of dwarves being loaded into a wagon.

GUARD: Sit down there! Be quiet!

Mama Bear and Papa Bear are locked inside giant cages, with Little Bear in his own cage.

LITTLE BEAR: (crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY: (To his owner) Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN: Oh, shut up. (Smacks Donkey)

DONKEY: Oh!

THE CAPTAIN: Next! What have you got?

GEPPETTO: This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)

THE CAPTAIN: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

PINOCCHIO: Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!

Geppetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.

THE CAPTAIN: Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN: Well, I've got a talking donkey.

THE CAPTAIN: Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN: Oh, go ahead, little fella. (Donkey stays silent).

THE CAPTAIN: Well?..

OLD WOMAN: Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. (Smacks Donkey again) Talk, you boneheaded dolt, talk!

THE CAPTAIN: That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

OLD WOMAN: No, no, he talks! He does. (Moving Donkey's lips) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talking-est damn thing you ever saw.

THE CAPTAIN: Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN: No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and starts floating upwards.

DONKEY: Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN: He can fly!

THREE LITTLE PIGS: He can fly!

THE CAPTAIN: He can talk?!

DONKEY: Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (The pixie dust's effects begin to wear off) Uh-oh. (He drops out of the air and hits the ground with a thud.)

THE CAPTAIN: Seize him!

Donkey dodges the guards as they try to grab him and runs deeper into the forest.

GUARDS: He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!

Donkey escapes deeper into the forest and runs head first into Shrek's backside. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him and glares down at Donkey. Donkey looks scared of Shrek for a moment, but he quickly hides behind him after seeing that the guards have caught up to him.

THE CAPTAIN: You there. Ogre!

SHREK: Aye?

THE CAPTAIN: By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and...(Shrek slowly approaches the group of guards, the guards visibly frightened by him) transport you to... a designated...resettlement...facility?

SHREK: Oh, really? You and what army? (Smiles)

The Captain looks behind himself and sees that all the other guards have abandoned him. The Captain tucks tail and runs off. Shrek shakes his head and starts walking back to his swamp. Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him.

DONKEY: Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!

SHREK: Are you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY: Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.

SHREK: (Annoyed) Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY: Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY: But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before loudly roaring in is face.

DONKEY: Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks!

Shrek walks off. Donkey reappears ahead of him, dangling from a felled log.

DONKEY: Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.

SHREK: Why are you following me?

DONKEY: I'll tell you why. (Drops from the log. Singing) "'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have friends..."

SHREK: Stop singing! (Picks up Donkey by his ears and tail) It's no wonder you don't have any friends (drops him).

DONKEY: Wow. Only a true friend would be that truly honest.

SHREK: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

DONKEY: (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh...really tall?

SHREK: No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you?

DONKEY: (Shakes his head) Nope.

SHREK: (Surprised) Really?

DONKEY: Really, really.

SHREK: Oh.

DONKEY: Man, I like you. What's your name?

SHREK: Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY: Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of "I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me" thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. (They come over a hill overlooking Shrek's home.) Woo, look at that! Who'd want to live in place like that?

Shrek Was Better Lmao