"It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out" -Storms

Storms: First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.

I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his ♥♥♥ as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.

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First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.

I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his ♥♥♥ as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.

Infinite ♥♥♥. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to ♥♥♥ uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your ♥♥♥♥ into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to ♥♥♥ into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The ♥♥♥ is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the ♥♥♥ from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the ♥♥♥. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm.

+rep ballsack