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You will never be depressed. You wrench out a fake "tfw no gf" every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be miserable, but deep inside you feel the happiness creeping up like a weed, ready to bless you with unshakeable confidence.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll find a girlfriend, marry her, knock her up, and have seven healthy kids together. Your parents will praise you, happy but a little bit sentimental now that their little boy has finally grown up. They’ll spoil the kids with candies and toys, and every acquaintance for the rest of your life will know that you're a fakecel.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠰⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡏⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠨⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣍⣉⡉⠁⢹⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡼⣟⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣆⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⢓⣬⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠿⠿⠿⠛⣉⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠰⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡏⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠨⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣍⣉⡉⠁⢹⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡼⣟⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣆⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⠿⢓⣬⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠿⠿⠿⠛⣉⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿