Recent reviews by Chaos Mythology

Playtime: 403 hrs at review time

“The future is black… and full of zombies.”

Let’s be real: Black Ops III is that chaotic cousin who shows up late to the family reunion, brings wild stories, and still manages to steal the spotlight.

Campaign: Wildly ambitious, occasionally confusing, but full of set-piece moments that scream “Michael Bay, hold my beer.” It’s like Inception had a baby with a military shooter and raised it on conspiracy theories. Co-op with friends makes it ten times better—because nothing says bonding like accidentally flashbanging your buddy during a drone invasion.

Multiplayer: Jetpacks, wall-running, and specialists—pure vertical madness. Movement feels silky smooth, like Titanfall and CoD had a parkour-filled lovechild. It’s sweaty, fast, and absolutely addicting once you master the rhythm. RIP slide-cancels, you were beautiful.

Zombies: Chef's kiss. This is peak zombie content. Shadows of Evil is Lovecraft on acid. The modding tools and Steam Workshop content? Endless fun. Custom maps breathe eternal life into this mode—seriously, the community keeps this game fresher than half the AAA launches in 2025.

Mod Support: Yes, you read that right. Treyarch actually gave us full mod tools. You can play Doom, Mario Kart, or a SpongeBob horror map without ever leaving the game. It’s like a zombie-fueled fever dream built by the Internet.

Pros:
✅ Satisfying gunplay
✅ Excellent zombies content
✅ Crazy modding community
✅ Smooth movement and fast action

Cons:
❌ Campaign is a lore maze
❌ MP learning curve for new players
❌ Hacker problem exists in some lobbies (private servers help)

If you like your shooters stylish, chaotic, and packed with community-made gold, Black Ops III still slaps harder than most modern entries. Just bring friends—and maybe a tinfoil hat for the campaign.

🎣 Final Fantasy XV: Bro-trip of the Century 🚗
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5/5)

You ever accidentally cry over four anime boyband members eating cup noodles under the stars? No?
Then buckle up, because Final Fantasy XV isn’t a game.
It’s a lifestyle.
A feast of ramen, Regalia, and regret.

Let me break it down:

🛻 ROAD TRIP SIMULATOR
• Yes, you can manually drive your car.
• No, you can’t go off-road at first.
• Yes, you can pay your bro Ignis to do it for you.
• Yes, there’s gas money.
• And yes, you will run out. On foot. In the desert. With a chocobo rental expired.

📸 PHOTO MODE BEFORE PHOTO MODE WAS COOL
Prompto took 257 blurry photos of my face mid-battle.
10/10 memories.
Would hang on my real-life fridge.

🍳 CULINARY MASTERCLASS
Ignis: “I’ve come up with a new recipeh.”
Me: absolutely in tears over perfectly rendered pixel toast
Gordon Ramsay, you’re obsolete.

🕺 BATTLE SYSTEM? YES.
SUMMONS? THUNDEROUS.
FISHING MINIGAME? A RELIGION.

🐟 I spent 4 hours trying to catch the “legendary fish” while the world was ending.
I have no regrets.
Even the fish was crying.

😭 ENDING?
Let’s just say… if you play this game and don’t hug your friends after, you’re not human.

⸻

Would I recommend this game?
Only if you have:
• A beating heart
• A love for the absurdly beautiful
• And enough emotional strength to handle four dudes camping their way through destiny

🌟 10/10
This game changed me.
And then it made me cook virtual lasagna.

Award this review or I’ll summon Ramuh to your house.

(Review text hidden)

Picture this: It’s 2 AM. You’re sitting in your dimly lit living room with a controller in your hand, thinking, “I’m gonna save the world... or at least a very angry man in a trench coat and a perpetual state of existential crisis.” That, my friends, is Max Payne.

From the very first second of this game, you’re thrust into a world so dark, you’ll need night vision goggles just to figure out who’s your friend and who’s your enemy (spoiler: it’s mostly enemies). Max Payne, the man with the worst luck since lottery tickets started printing with "Congratulations!" on the wrong side, is in a never-ending battle with fate. His wife’s dead, his kid’s dead, and the only thing left in his life is his unflinching need for vengeance... and a whole lotta pain.

The Plot
Max’s life story? Think of it as an emo teenager's diary after reading one too many noir novels. People keep dying around him, and every conversation feels like it’s straight out of a bad detective movie script. No one smiles. No one’s happy. Everyone’s drinking coffee like it’s their only personality trait. You’ll feel like you’re in a crime thriller that forgot to take its meds. Every time Max opens his mouth, it’s a fresh round of “Please, I’ve seen better dialogue in a soggy fortune cookie.”

Gameplay
It’s the 90s. Bullet time. Slow-motion. Max Payne was the OG Matrix. You’ll dodge bullets like Neo’s cooler, angrier cousin. Every time you slow down time to avoid the world trying to put you six feet under, it feels like you’re in an action movie where the director’s like, “Screw physics, let’s make this look cool.” Running through endless hallways, shooting guys in slow motion like you’re auditioning for a John Woo film? Yes, please. But don’t get cocky – there’s no auto-save. If you die, it’s back to the start. Prepare for rage quitting at least 47 times in the first 30 minutes.

Graphics
Let’s not sugarcoat this: the graphics look like Max Payne’s face was sculpted by someone who’s never seen a human. He looks like someone’s attempt to make a man out of clay after a 3-day bender. The world is a lovely blend of "Can I get some anti-aliasing here?" and "Do we even need textures?" But honestly, that’s part of the charm. You’re not here for the visuals. You’re here for the bullet time and the fact that everyone talks like they’re in an overheated coffee shop on a rainy day in 1998.

Final Verdict
Max Payne is a masterpiece if you love a good tale of vengeance, one-liners, and the kind of action that only exists in video games. It’s the video game equivalent of a gritty noir film where everyone is too cool to even blink. If you enjoy dark humor, slow-motion bullet ballet, and a protagonist who makes every scene feel like it’s his last, then congrats, you’ve found your next favorite dysfunctional hero.

Would I recommend it? Heck yes. But be ready to yell at your screen like it owes you money.

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Yakuza Kiwami 2: A Beautiful, Absurd, and Bone-Crunching Love Letter to Organized Crime

If you’ve ever wanted to experience the thrill of being an unstoppable, suit-clad force of justice while also singing your heart out at karaoke and bonding with a former adult film actress over a game of mahjong, Yakuza Kiwami 2 is the game for you.

First off, let’s talk about the Dragon of Dojima himself—Kazuma Kiryu. This man is built like a refrigerator, punches like a wrecking ball, and yet has the emotional intelligence of a brick. He’s the perfect protagonist: stoic, honorable, and somehow able to make grown men question their entire life choices with a single glare.

The story? It’s peak Yakuza drama. You’ve got betrayals, secret siblings, blood oaths, and a man so committed to vengeance that he redefines the phrase ride or die. (Spoiler: He chooses die.) The main villain, Ryuji Goda, is basically what happens when a golden retriever gets reincarnated as a crime boss—loyal, headstrong, and completely incapable of backing down from a fight, even when it’s a terrible idea.

But let’s be real: the real magic of Yakuza Kiwami 2 isn’t just in its melodramatic storytelling. It’s in the side content. One moment you’re engaged in a heartfelt discussion about duty and sacrifice, and the next you’re body-slamming a guy dressed as a diaper-wearing adult baby in an alleyway. There’s an entire subplot where you manage a cabaret club and have to outmaneuver rival hosts using the raw power of capitalism. It’s like The Godfather meets Shark Tank, but with more suplexes.

The combat? Pure, unfiltered violence in the best way possible. Kiryu doesn’t just fight—he commits acts of war. You’ll use everything from bicycles to traffic cones to, at one point, an entire park bench to lay waste to your enemies. And just when you think it couldn’t get any better, they introduce Heat Actions, which are basically over-the-top finishing moves that make WWE look like polite chess matches. Ever wanted to smash a guy’s face into a bar counter before making yourself a nice whiskey on the rocks? Yakuza Kiwami 2 has you covered.

Graphically, it’s a massive upgrade from the first Kiwami, thanks to the Dragon Engine. Kamurocho and Sotenbori feel alive, and by alive, I mean filled with drunk men who want to fight you for absolutely no reason. The neon lights, the reflections on rain-soaked streets, the way Kiryu’s suit never wrinkles despite him being thrown through glass windows—beautiful.

Final Verdict: 10/10. A masterpiece of chaos, comedy, and cathartic street brawling. Whether you’re here for the deep crime drama or just want to spend hours playing virtual golf, Yakuza Kiwami 2 will deliver. And if you don’t love it, Kiryu will simply nod respectfully and walk away—because that’s just the kind of legend he is.

Game truly makes me horny

Played this game on the PS4 a while ago; here's my review. The Steam version is even better in my opinion. Let's get into it.

Yakuza Kiwami—A Review (Or: How I Became an Unstoppable Street Legend Who Also Happens to Have a Very Soft Spot for Karaoke)

5/5

Yakuza Kiwami is the game where you, a muscle-bound, trench-coat-wearing man named Kiryu, walk around like you own the place, and guess what? You basically do. You’ll punch, kick, and occasionally throw a man into a trash can for looking at you the wrong way—all while stopping for a hearty bowl of ramen and busting out some pretty impressive karaoke. Is there a plot? Yes. Do you care? Absolutely not.

The game kicks off with Kiryu, a former Yakuza member with a heart of gold (and probably several broken ribs) who’s trying to navigate life after being wrongfully imprisoned for 10 years. He returns to a world where the biggest problems aren’t just gang wars but also trying to figure out where you parked your car. Seriously, where did I park that damn thing? Oh wait, who cares? The real fun is in the street fights, the karaoke, and the random side quests where you can help a guy who dropped his only rubber chicken.

Now, let's talk about the combat: it’s absolute chaos. You’ll punch people in the face so hard, you'll wonder if you just invented a new martial art called “Street Faceplant.” The heat moves are the real stars, though. Why settle for a regular punch when you can toss your enemy into a vending machine and watch it explode in a way that defies both physics and logic?

Side activities? Oh, don’t get me started. There are mini-games, and then there are Yakuza mini-games. You can host a cabaret club, play golf (sort of), or even get into a game of blackjack that’ll make you question your life choices. But the real kicker? Karaoke. Do you want to believe you’re a pop star? Now you can, thanks to the iconic voice acting and questionable song choices. I’m telling you, I nailed "Baka Mitai" and became a legend in my own living room. (Pro tip: You haven't truly lived until you've heard Kiryu's attempt at singing.)

The story? It’s an emotional rollercoaster involving betrayal, love, and, of course, men who refuse to stop yelling “Kiryu-chan!” at the top of their lungs. It’s like if a soap opera, a gangster flick, and a low-budget action movie had a baby...and that baby grew up to be ridiculously fun.

In conclusion, Yakuza Kiwami is the game that proves you don’t need a cape to be a hero—you just need a good suit, a few friends to yell at, and a karaoke machine to remind you that no matter how many bad guys you’ve thrown into a fountain, you can still belt out a tune like a champion. 10/10. Would throw a man into a bicycle again.

Dead by Daylight is like a twisted boot camp for your nerves—equal parts horror, hilarity, and head-scratching “what the heck just happened?” moments. Here’s the scoop, with a few helpful tips thrown in to keep you from tearing your hair out (or worse, becoming a permanent resident of the hook):

Survivor Mode:
Ever felt like you’re auditioning for the next great escape artist show? One minute you’re sneaking around like a ninja, and the next you’re being camped by a killer who clearly skipped the “be nice” lesson in kindergarten. Pro tip: Stick with friends if you can—they might not save you from every chainsaw, but they’ll at least provide the emotional support (and endless memes) when you spectacularly fail. And if your escape plan turns into an impromptu “how not to get hooked” tutorial, just remember: every mishap is a story to laugh about later.


Killer Mode:
For those who fancy themselves as the villain in this twisted horror flick, playing as the killer is equal parts satisfying and absurd. Sure, you get to chase down survivors and unleash your inner boogeyman, but sometimes the game reminds you that even villains have off days. If you find yourself endlessly chasing one survivor only for the generators to pop open like magic, take it as a cue to switch tactics—and maybe practice your “sinister laugh” in the mirror for extra effect.


Matchmaking & Grind:
The matchmaking system in DBD is like a box of chocolates— you never know if you’re going to get a team of newbies who treat every match like a first date or veterans who can camp you into oblivion. The grind is real, too: leveling up characters and snagging those elusive perks can feel like filling a bucket with water while the bucket has a few too many holes. Embrace it as part of the chaotic charm; every lost match is a lesson in what not to do, and every rare win is proof that you, my friend, are a masochist extraordinaire.

In short, Dead by Daylight is the perfect cocktail of terror and comedy—a game that teaches you how to dodge chainsaws, appreciate the art of a good chase, and laugh at your own misfortune. Whether you’re a survivor desperately ducking hooks or a killer reveling in the chaos, this game delivers a rollercoaster of absurdity and unexpected joy. So grab a friend, mute the toxic chatter, and dive into the madness—you’ll be laughing (and screaming) all the way to the next match!

A Review from a Saiyan's Perspective

Rating: 5/5 Kamehameha Waves

Alright, listen up, Earthlings. As a Saiyan who’s seen it all—literally, all of it—I thought I had reached my limit with video games, but Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot? This game hit me harder than a Vegeta ego trip.

First off, Kakarot is the ultimate “you get to be Goku” experience. Like, you get to eat sensu beans, power up, and yell “Kaaa—meeee—haaa—meeee—HAAAA!!!” until your neighbors start calling the cops. But it’s not just about punching things (okay, it’s mostly about punching things)—it’s also about reliving the entire Dragon Ball Z saga. From the Saiyan saga to the Majin Buu saga, you get to redo all of Goku’s iconic moments, like saving the world—again, and again, and again.

The fighting system is as smooth as Goku's hair (which is a feat in itself). Whether you’re charging at Frieza like a maniac or zipping around like a caffeinated squirrel, the action feels as fast-paced and over-the-top as a Dragon Ball Z episode... without the commercial breaks (thank goodness). And yes, there’s a ton of yelling. So much yelling. You’ll get sore just from pressing the buttons.

And then there’s the food. Oh, the food. If you love collecting ingredients and cooking meals for your pals, this game is practically a cooking simulator disguised as a brawler. I’m not kidding, Goku’s culinary skills are on full display, and honestly, I’d pay for DLC just to see him grill a few steaks.

Also, let’s talk about the side quests. You can deliver groceries, fight space animals, and collect Z Orbs because why not? It’s like the DBZ world meets Animal Crossing. Who knew Goku was such an overachiever?

All in all, Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot is an emotional rollercoaster that will have you laughing, crying, and—if you’re anything like me—throwing your controller when you realize you’ve been grinding for 4 hours and haven’t even gotten to the next big fight.

So, if you want to relive the glory of DBZ, minus the saggy episode lengths and filler, jump in! You’ll get to be Goku, punch stuff, eat a bunch of food, and yell like a true Saiyan. What more could you possibly want?

#Kakarot4Ever 💥