Own a 1911 for home defense, since that's what god intended. Four commies break into my house. "What the grud?" As I grab my white monster and Colt National Match. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my backup 1918 Colt Black Army on the second man, miss him entirely because the 100 year old barrel has no rifling left and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to my prized Colt Series 70 Government Model mounted above the fireplace loaded with 230 grain Federal Premium, "Mr. Browning sends his regards" the .45 ACP stopping power shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Draw my USMC KA-BAR and charge the last terrified red. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since the holes in the communist ideology are impossible to seal. Just as god intended.

I vape