what if... we were visiting my grandpa in the old folks home, that my parents stuck him in, and he invites us to the basement. where he and some other rowdy geriatrics are hosting a c0ck f!ght, and amidst the chicken shrieks, cigar smoke, and shouting of obscenities and occasional slurs, we lock eyes and theres a spark. but then one of the abuela's switchblades reflects the fluorescent lights into poppop's eyes and it triggers a 'nam flashback and he begins choking you out and you plead to me with your eyes to help but i don't i just begin cheering him on along with the others and you realize as you begin to black out that the last thing you're going to see before you shuffle off this mortal coil is a septigenarian's orhopedic shoes.... would you like that 🤭🤭🤭

but mUfFin CaKee 😫😫😫

not now, kitten whiskers. daddy will discuss it later

what if we were canoodling in the back of my stolen Nissan Altima, and i ask "would you like to meet dada?" and you respond, "what was that?" and i giggle🤭 then i pull out an urn and whisper..."say hi to daddy". you try to leave but i've already locked all of the doors 👁👄👁 would you like that... ??

you can always eat a southwest chicken salad, carol :)

sweet birthday babbbyyyyyy