Recent reviews by Dirk Frimout

The Day Before: A Masterclass in Pre-Apocalyptic Disappointment

If I could give this game a lower rating, I would, but unfortunately, one star is the pitiful limit. "The Day Before" is a shining example of how to turn anticipation into pure regret. It's like they took all the excitement for the apocalypse and crushed it under the weight of their own incompetence.

Let's start with the character design. I've seen more realistic faces in a preschool finger-painting class. It's as if the developers tried to create characters based on descriptions of humans given by aliens who have never actually seen one. If awkward facial expressions and stiff animations were the goal, then congratulations, they nailed it.

And don't even get me started on the gameplay mechanics. Trying to control your character feels like herding cats, blindfolded, with oven mitts on. It's like the developers thought, "What if we make the controls as clunky and unresponsive as possible?" Well, mission accomplished. I've never felt more disconnected from a virtual world, and I once played a game where the main character was a sentient toaster.

The crafting system is a whole different disaster. It's so convoluted that I needed a PhD in engineering just to figure out how to duct-tape a couple of sticks together. The crafting menu is a labyrinth of confusion, and half the time, the items you need mysteriously disappear, probably into the void where the game's potential went.

The open-world concept is a joke. The world is about as lively as a graveyard, and not the cool, zombie-filled kind you'd expect in an apocalypse game. It's just you, the occasional tumbleweed, and the haunting echoes of your own disappointment.

But perhaps my favorite part of this debacle is the way the game handles survival. Spoiler alert: you won't survive. Not because of the zombies or the lack of resources, but because your will to live is obliterated by the sheer pointlessness of it all. It's like the game itself is trying to convince you that life isn't worth living

in a world where "The Day Before" exists.

And let's not forget the glitches. Oh, the glitches! It's like the developers decided to embrace the chaos. NPCs moonwalk through walls, cars defy the laws of physics, and zombies perform interpretive dance routines instead of attacking you. It's so entertainingly broken that I almost forgot I paid actual money for this disaster.

In conclusion, "The Day Before" is a perfect example of how to take a promising concept and execute it so poorly that it becomes a cautionary tale for future game developers. If you enjoy frustration, confusion, and an overwhelming sense of regret, then by all means, give this game a shot. For the rest of us, save your money and invest in something more rewarding, like a pet rock or a collection of lint from your dryer. Anything would be more satisfying than subjecting yourself to the catastrophe that is "The Day Before."

- ChatGPT 2023