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24 of 24 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Look mom, I made a silly face!

You successfully posed with a silly face, yay you!
Unlocked 17 May @ 6:34pm

You don't even have to ask

You accidentally(?) sent Lucas a naughty picture of yourself. You're lucky he's a decent lad.
Unlocked 17 May @ 6:24pm

Woohoo! My first Eterni!

You uploaded your first picture to Eterni. China now owns all your data and has the rights to your firstborn son.
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:46pm

Did I ask for your help?

You (quite rudely) told the tutorial guy to buzz off. I mean, how dare he try and help you, am I right?
Unlocked 17 May @ 6:04pm

Unlocked all Episode 1 secret scenes

You managed to return all of the escaped slaves in episode 1 to their rightful owner. All for a good cause.
Unlocked 17 May @ 6:43pm

Inevitable

You completed episode 1. It was of course, inevitable.
Unlocked 17 May @ 6:49pm

Nobody blackmails me, bitch

You stood your ground and didn't let Vivian have her way with you.
Unlocked 17 May @ 6:58pm

Slappity Slap!

You slapped something quite peachy. In fact, you slapped it 5 times in a row!
Unlocked 18 May @ 6:51pm

Jesus, what is wrong with you?

And then I saw red... I slapped dat ass, by the gods did I slap dat ass! 20 Times in a row I did!
Unlocked 18 May @ 6:51pm

No guts, no glory!

Glory is all that matters. Not even screaming women will stand in your way.
Unlocked 17 May @ 7:09pm

Smoking Kills

Remember kids, smoking kills. Also, try not to stick your special tool into a random hole four times in a row. Three is the magic number.
Unlocked 17 May @ 7:10pm

Unlocked all Episode 2 secret scenes

You managed to return all of the escaped slaves in episode 2 to their rightful owner. Good for you.
Unlocked 17 May @ 7:28pm

Pretend

You completed episode 2. Or at the very least, you pretended."
Unlocked 17 May @ 7:30pm

Beaver Damned

You insisted on being a good samaritan, but in reality you simply used coitus preventus as your cliterference totally beaver damned Lateshya.
Unlocked 18 May @ 6:04pm

Lost

You lost your way, just like a green haired swordsman. Next time try to look at the address before going somewhere new.
Unlocked 18 May @ 6:09pm

Queen of Hell

Truly a hellish achievement! Your mind never once wandered off the righteous path and your little friend remained in hibernation.
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:38pm

A most powerful imagination

Imagination can carry you to worlds that never were. But one might wonder, what do we miss, while we're there?
Unlocked 18 May @ 6:15pm

Debt Repaid

You owed a favor and now you don't. If only paying off debt could always feel this good.
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:15pm

Slippery when wet

You left Vivian a wonderful little surprise. Turns out, revenge is a dish best served wet.
Unlocked 18 May @ 6:35pm

Fountain of Love

You journeyed to the edge of the universe, where no man has gone before. What you found there was but a fountain. A fountain of love. And now you're wet.
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:43pm

Drugs are lethal

Everybody knows that if you do ALL the damn drugs, you are going to slip on a banana peel and die. Happens every time. You idiot.
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:23pm

Call Me

Call me, maybe...? Baby...? Why won't you call me?
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:26pm

Unlocked all Episode 3 secret scenes

You managed to return all of the escaped slaves in episode 3 to their rightful owner. Very nice!
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:24pm

Promise

You completed episode 3. Don't panic, there is still more, I promise.
Unlocked 18 May @ 7:27pm