Ksiądz Weneg's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 5:09pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2022 @ 9:43am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 3:40pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 1:11pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 4:38pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 4:47pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2022 @ 2:44pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2022 @ 5:28pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 2:02pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 3:31pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 6:41pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2022 @ 9:53am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 8:36am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 6:49pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 3:18pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 2:47pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2022 @ 5:24pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2023 @ 12:07pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 2:39pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 1:55pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 11:18am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 9:28am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 12:46pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 9:13am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 2:05pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 7:02pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 17 Aug, 2022 @ 12:52pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 6:40am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2022 @ 10:20am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 3:40pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2022 @ 3:50pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 12:35pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 13 Aug, 2022 @ 4:48pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 4:15pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 4:51pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 9:56am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2022 @ 2:43pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 2:51pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Jul, 2022 @ 4:53pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 1:24pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 1:58pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 10:56am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 10:07am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2022 @ 3:25pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2022 @ 9:55am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2022 @ 5:14pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 8:07am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 3:29pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2022 @ 1:05pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 11 Jul, 2022 @ 6:27pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2022 @ 9:50am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 11 Jul, 2022 @ 6:08pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 1:06pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 14 Aug, 2022 @ 11:36am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

18 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

26 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,405 / 5,000