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Armizonskoye, Tyumen', Russian Federation 
💙 💛 🍆 📒 🐊 👹 💗 🎽 🌳 😺 🐟 🎁 📕 ⛳ 👃 💃
Symptom: Everything has gone dark.
Fault: The Bar is closing.
Action Required: Panic.
Symptom: You awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet.
You cannot see the bathroom light.
Fault: You have spent the night in the gutter.
Action Required: Check your watch to see if bars are open yet. If not,
treat yourself to a lie-in.
-- Bar Troubleshooting
Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought
home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham. And you're still
drinking ordinary scotch?
🌏 🐛 🌂 🚕 👽 🎫 👳 🐊 👾 🐠 💛 🍖 🕺 🔋 💎 💃