I once took a dookie
In a bathroom stall
So thick and firm
It stood tall
It balanced on end
But that dookie did not bend
And it fell over
And scraped my left ball


Here I sit in smelly vapor
Somebody took all the toilet paper
Late for work, but I still linger
Look out booty, here comes the finger


When you sit
To take a S H I T
No longer should you fear
We all poop loud
So just be proud
Don't worry what we hear


Here I sit
Broken hearted
Came to S H I T
But only farted


In the days of old
When nights were cold
And toilets weren't invented
They laid their load
Upon the road
And walked away contented


To the stall I contemplate
If I will S H I T or masturbate
Now I sit all broken hearted
I tried to S H I T but only farted
Later on I took the chance
Tried to fart but S H I T my pants


Some come here to sit and think
Some come here to S H I T and stink
I come here to scratch my balls
And write some bullS H I T on the walls


Sitting on the pooper
Feeling kinda super
Gotta flush away
What I ate today
Big poops make you melt
And you gotta adjust your belt
Little poos are usually just gas
Or an excuse to sit on your A S S


Those who write on bathroom walls
Roll their S H I T in little balls
Those who read those words of wit
Eat those little balls of S H I T


A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write a poem upon a S H I T house wall
But before I die I'll add my regal scrawl
To show the world I'm left with sweet F U C K all
And when all of us bold S H I T house poets do die
A monument grand they will raise to the sky
A monument made to mark our great wit
A monument made of solid S H I T


It may be trite but here's my riddle
It's under neath you while you piddle
It's something which you can fiddle
What is it I'm noncommittal
I give it out little by little
You must be strong you can't be brittle
It'll be fine if they wriggle
I give it out with a giggle
It'll leave a puddle while you squiggle
Give it a touch it'll jiggle
There's no way out you can't higgle
Just know my love the answer to the riddle
This is the stall in which I diddle

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