STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, shut up, and listen to the ♥♥♥♥ I'm about to say. If you're reading this then consider yourself lucky, because this offer is about to blow your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mind. In exchange for your item (of any kind) I am offering up myself (a person) in return. "What the ♥♥♥♥ does that mean?", I hear you ask. Well let me explain it to you in a way that plebs such as yourself can understand. Once the item transaction is complete, I will be shipped to your personal address immediately, free of charge. You hear that? FREE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SHIPPING ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.
At this point you may be asking yourself why you would possibly need a ♥♥♥♥♥♥, such as myself, in exchange for an item. Well let me break it down yo, I offer many goods and services as a teenage boy such as; cooking (most likely burnt toast or spaghetti), cleaning, mowing lawns/washing cars, doing chores and sleeping in all day like a lazy piece of ♥♥♥♥. If you have other plans for me (i.e personal sex slave) then I am 100% happy to comply as I am now yours to do with as you please.
So if you're looking for someone to feed your pet fish, someone to take your Anger Management out on, or just someone to cuddle up to at night, then hit me up on steam or send me a trade offer for a fast reply. Be sure not to miss out on this ripper deal bro. Cheers!