>I've known Benster for many years now, and I truly think he is the most.."
>Trail off
>Rip up paper
>Ask the oldest Korean guy in the room if he's ever watched Squid Game
>No matter how he answers rant about the evils of capitalism and greed
>"Marriage is all about bringing two families together"
>Compare marriage to North and South Korea uniting
>Insist that Juche is a good system and somehow make it relevant to marriage
>Tell them I think racemixing is bad, but I think half Asian girls are hot
>Look at the wife and tell her you just know she's perfect for Benster
>Give the wife a coupon for baby formula "because I don't want the baby to starve"
>Talk up Benster's moral character, huge emphasis on modesty, self control, and rational thinking
>Explain that Benster was so devout that he got genuinely upset when he broke his 6 month streak of not talking to a woman
>Tell the story of why Benster decided to get married (make it up, include some stuff about lifting at the gym and dead Roman emperors)
>A moment of silence for those lost at Pearl Harbor "on both sides"
>My grandfather would always tell me not to buy Asian cars
>"That reminds me of a little story my grandfather used to tell"
>Tell an actual story my grandfather told me, except replace all the black people in it with Koreans