1.I like gym shorts and basketball jerseys
2. I like beef jerky, beer, and ♥♥♥♥♥, in that order
3. If you don't love Nascar, we can probably ♥♥♥♥, but I will never marry you
4. Dale Earnhardt is my lord and savior
5. If I let you come to my house, DO NOT touch my Randy Travis poster
6. You must like to sleep during normal banking hours‎
7. When we are together, you must refer to me as Lord Funkinstein
8. Never look me in the eye
9. Must have an affection for white plugs, and white flip flops
10. Must have an affection for going on extravagant trips to punch endangered species in the face
11. I do not like the name Clarence, if anyone in your family is named Clarence, you must make him change his name for me
12. I must be taken to California Pizza Kitchen every alternating Tuesday on months that begin with A
13. I like to cuddle, and by cuddle I mean put it in your butt
14. Did I mention #7 & #8
15. Must love dogs.......and anal