Sometimes, when I'm bored, I super glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend Im T-Rex

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human ♥♥♥♥♥, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility.

Ric Par'Zit is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥. Not only is he a ♥♥♥♥♥♥, he is the blackest ♥♥♥♥♥♥ I have ever seen. Guys I know I say that a lot, but it is true guys. Ric Par'Zit is a dirty black ♥♥♥♥♥♥ monkey ape. A repulsive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gorilla of the african rain forest. Throughout my career I have categorized and documented over 700 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on five continents. Everywhere from the deepest congoloid jungles to the alleyways of detroit. I have also classified countless new species of gorilla monkey that you have ever seen before. Each one is a repulsive, moronic, grotesque, incompetent, and incredibly virile creature, and the german monkey ape named “Ric Par'Zit” not only excells and surpasses in each one of these traits, he breaks every previous record holder, except virility, which is the lowest I've seen in any ♥♥♥♥♥♥ monkey. I wish I never met him. Disgusting!

Ich hab dir da ja bereits erklärt,
dass
ich NICHT schwul bin und keine Chance
besteht dass wir beide jemals eine
Beziehung führen werden!

Hör bitte auf mir Briefe zu schreiben
und mir Nacktfotos zu schicken! Das ist
mir peinlich.

Ich kann ja verstehen, dass du
enttäuscht bist, aber es gibt da
draussen ja noch genug Jungs die nicht
hetero sind, ok?!

-rep big gay

+rep