I mean, they got everything:

car puns
car racism
car elon musk
car john wick
car murder
sexy cars
the car mafia
and to top it off, they have the greatest, fastest protagonist of all time:
LIGHTNING ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MCQUEEN.

I do not give a ♥♥♥♥ what you think, Cars is a top tier franchise. You could say I’m biased, since I sleep in a Lightning McQueen racecar bed each night, so I’ll admit it. I’m a simp for McQueen. If he was real, I would sub to his OnlyVans. I could be his Lightning McKing. I daily commit his words of wisdom to memory. I mean, have you ever tried saying “kachow” on your own? And not like just saying it, but meaning it. Feeling it. Experiencing that high octane RUSH as you remind yourself: “Yeah, I AM Speed.”

It’s not an exaggeration to say that Lightning McQueen has taken the wheel of my life and changed its course for the better. When McQueen found me, I was in a very dark pit stop in my life. He reminded me that car Jesus is always watching over me, guiding me, and fueling me. I was terrified when he was surrounded by the lemons. I really thought to myself:

“Is this where he finally dies? Is this when he meets car Jesus?”

And I watch with baited breath. The timer ticks...3...2...1...and true to form, he escapes another close scrape yet again.

4 Piston Cups.
3 Feature Films.
1 Lightning McQueen.

10/10.
Kachow.