[man's voice] Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night.

Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming.

[horse whinnies] It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep.

[crows caw] For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land.

And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse.

He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her...

[gasps] What? - Princess... Fiona? - No! [sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom?

[ Counting Crows: Accidentally In Love] So she said what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love Think about it every time I think 'bout it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it If it's love, love Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothing 'bout love Oh, come on, come on - [screams] - Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Everybody's after love So I said I'm a snowball running Running down into this spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies belting out sunlight Shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love These lines of lightning mean we're never alone Never alone, no, no Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love Hyah! We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally in love I'm in love I'm in love

It's so good to be home! - [distant singing] - [giggling] Just you and me and... [Donkey sings] - Two can be as bad as one... - Donkey?

Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. [chuckles] And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?

Donkey, what are you doing here? Taking care of your love nest for you. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your...

Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you.

You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.

Donkey! - Yes, roomie? You're bothering me. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something.

He'll be fine. Now, where were we? [giggles] Oh. I think I remember. - Donkey! - [Fiona yelps] I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? [fanfare] [ theme to Hawaii Five-O] Enough, Reggie. [clears throat]

"Dearest Princess Fiona. "You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away "for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage "at which time the King "will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and your..." uh..."Prince Charming. "Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. "aka Mom and Dad." Mom and Dad?

Prince Charming? - Royal ball? Can I come? - We're not going. - [both] What? I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? [chuckles] Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.

Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Stop it. They're not like that. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance.

To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? No! They just want to give you their blessing. Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? If you want to be a part of this family, yes! Who says I want to be part of this family? You did! When you married me! Well, there's some fine print for you! [exasperated sigh]

So that's it. You won't come? Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! [Gingy] Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. [all cheer] - Hey, wait for me. Oof! - [glass breaks] [sighs]

[ Chic: Le Freak] Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw!

[Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Fiona] Not yet. - [Donkey] OK, are we there yet? - [Fiona] No. - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] No! - [Donkey] Are we there yet? - [Shrek] Yes. - Really? - No! - Are we there yet? - [Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek] We are not! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek & Fiona] No! - Are we there yet? - [Shrek mimics] - That's not funny. That's really immature. - [Shrek mimics] - This is why nobody likes ogres. - [Shrek mimics] - Your loss! - [Shrek mimics] - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally!

This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... [softly] away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself.

[sighs] [deep sigh] [clicks tongue] [popping] - [popping] - [exasperated sigh] For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... [shouts]... for five minutes! - [popping] - [shrieks] Are we there yet? - [chuckles] Yes! - Oh, finally! [fanfare]

[ Lipps, Inc: Funkytown] Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. [whistle] Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'...

Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. [Donkey] Swimming pools! Movie stars! [cheering] [applause] [fanfare] Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. [fanfare] [fanfare and cheering stop] [gasps] [tweeting] [baby wails]

Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. [chuckles] So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - [softly] Who on earth are they? - [softly] I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break th