THE ONE TRUE GOD! OUR HOLY LORD GABEN!

Our Gabe Newell who art in VALVE HQ, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Steam. Give us this day our daily deal, and forgive us our console purchases, as we forgive those who trespass against Steam, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil Origin. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Gaben.
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Our Father in Bellevue,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth, as it is in Bellevue.
Give us this day our daily sales,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from EA.

Amen.
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Our developer,
who art in Bellevue
Newell be thy name.
Thy games shall come
When they are done
And they will be totally awesome.
Give us this day our daily hats
And forgive us our impatience
As we forgive those who take forever.
And lead us not into fat jokes
But deliver us from EA.
For thine is the software
And the Alyx
And the Gordon
Forever and ever.
GabeN
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Our Lord, who art at Valve, GabeN be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in homes as it is at Valve.
Give us Lord our Daily Deal, and forgive us for our scams as we forgive those who scam against us.
And lead us not into console peasantry, but deliver us from Origin.
For thine is the Steamdom, the Gear, and the Engine, forever and ever, in Freeman's name I pray,
GabeN.