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Choose the one that's on the list and write in my profile, I will answer the same!
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Congratulations! I am happy to announce that you sir/mam have been selected for our next installment on season 26 of My 600 Pound Life ™. A message from America’s very own leading expert in surgical and natural fat removal, Dr.Hepworth to you: Hello! Congratulations and welcome to our My 600 Pound ™ family! I am very excited to meet you and help you through this journey of a lifetime as you battle through morbid obesity!

Now, in order for you to undergo surgical removement, we here at the clinic will have you run a strict month long diet, as in order for you to be admitted into surgery, you have to be under the weight line of 675 pounds, as you now clock in at 807 pounds, we have a hefty way ahead of us! Now through this whole process you will have a documentary crew following you around, so no sneaking in those pesky pizzas! Thank you very much for your time, and as our slogan says, LET’S WIN AGAINST OBESITY!

*split into two for twitch chat character limit

Aim GOD

Greetings, my name is beef, and today i would like to present an exceedingly excellent "Yo Mama Joke". I will now begin. your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to get her yearly physical, the doctors concluded she had a high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffer severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance which enables her to consume more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, Your mother is becoming so monstrous she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has a endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time.