Do not put your penis in a vacuum cleaner.
Please do not insert your penis into a vacuum cleaner.

For starters, the vacuum cleaner might be dirty. It's likely that there might be dirt, dust, and bacteria that could cause an infection if they come into contact with sensitive tissues.

The vacuum cleaner is also dry. The penis is meant to be moist, and a vacuum cleaner with high suction power could chafe some of the delicate skin that could cause bleeding, flaking, irritation, swelling, and abrasions.

The vacuum cleaner will not hesitate to be rough with your penis- prolonged suction could damage the blood vessels, as well as stretch your penis. This could lead to moving parts in the vacuum damaging it further, or even getting stuck and needing medical intervention.

Be careful where you put your penis- it is not as pleasant as it sounds on surface level.

feathercamper

🎵 Yi Xiang Qing Yuan by Rosanne Lui 🎵
🔊 ───────⚪──────────────────────── ..ιllιlι.ιl.
⠀⠀▏◄ ᠌▐▐ ᠌ ►▏ ⠀⠀───○ 🔊 ⠀0:32 / 2:36

So as a joke, I went to my Unmuted's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as Unmuted went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way Unmuted stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party."

Unmuted went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" Unmuted said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his ♥♥♥♥, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.

Unmuted is just fantastic, just need to work on comms, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade and smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills

-rep he always baits