ZEUS's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 10:36am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 12:02pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 4 Jan, 2016 @ 8:51am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 12:08pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 10:38am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2015 @ 2:52am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 6 Jan, 2016 @ 7:07am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2016 @ 11:24am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2021 @ 1:55am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2021 @ 6:23am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 5:52am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2021 @ 5:22am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2016 @ 11:04am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Nov @ 1:53pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2021 @ 3:49pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 4 Jan, 2016 @ 5:57am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 5 Jan, 2016 @ 12:01pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2016 @ 10:20am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 10:26am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 4 Jan, 2016 @ 8:51am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2021 @ 1:47am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2021 @ 3:58pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 4 Jan, 2016 @ 7:47am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2021 @ 5:39am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2015 @ 3:04am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2015 @ 3:12am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 10:43am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2021 @ 5:46am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2016 @ 10:18am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2021 @ 5:24am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2015 @ 2:57am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2021 @ 7:17am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2017 @ 12:06am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2021 @ 1:45am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 5:51am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 10 Apr, 2021 @ 6:25am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2021 @ 2:15am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

5 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

0 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

25 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

24 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

13 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

25 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30