Kaylan777
cringe
 
 
I sexually Identify as an Apache Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.:richarddad:



Currently Offline
Cool Story
How exactly does one get ♥♥♥♥♥ while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always ♥♥♥♥ blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows ♥♥♥♥ out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your ♥♥♥♥ off, just to ♥♥♥♥ with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your ♥♥♥♥. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any ♥♥♥♥♥.
Favorite Game
383
Hours played
113
Achievements
Recent Activity
16.8 hrs on record
last played on 7 Oct
5 hrs on record
last played on 19 Jun
602 hrs on record
last played on 17 Jun
pip 2 Jan, 2022 @ 6:33am 
+rep. This player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills
howtosuperglide 2 Dec, 2021 @ 9:32am 
-rep lost the knife to csgoroulette....
howtosuperglide 2 Dec, 2021 @ 9:31am 
+rep gave me a free gut knife for my carrying services!thanks kaylan!:steamhappy:
kry 31 Oct, 2018 @ 6:44pm 
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Man 7 Jun, 2018 @ 8:36am 
small ♥♥♥♥ only know how to talk ♥♥♥♥ but noob as ♥♥♥♥
Ketupat Sayur 27 Jan, 2018 @ 6:57am 
Trade Your Cases For Keys! 4x1 Rate! {LINK REMOVED}