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G̭̺̙͔̦̖̭E̞̫͙T͕͇ ̩̩̭̗O̝̗̯̖͍͙̬͎U̲͎͕̳͓̱̖̯T̤ ̞̮͓̙O͍͉̥̻̣̺̩̗F͔̜̻͙̥̱ͅ ̦͖͚͚̺͚M͙Y̘ ͉̝̘̖̮̜H̱̬̲̯E̘̗̥̹͚͕ͅA̠̰̳͇̻̖͇̬D̩͍̩͔̭͓ ͖̹G̻̞̺̬͓̫͙͔E̻̫̙̞T̹̙̹ ̞͙͔̣̪̩O͙̪̹͙͈̪͖̘U͍͚̱͖T̫̫̝̰̝ ̫̤̥̱̖̳̜O͎̼͔͖̥̩F͇̫̳͔̝ ̬͉M͎̙̤̦̰̱͙Y̫̭̜͚̦͈̰ ͈̖̰͎͉H̳̳̬͔͙̲ͅͅE̻͇̹̬̰̜̖̱A͈̜D̜̣͕̫̯̻̝̭ ̰G̠̲͔̻͔̙̯E̯͚̙̘T̙̜͍̳̩̣͕̭ ̠̪̪͎̱O̹̰̺͙̘̪̭̞̱U̻̮͔͈̠ͅT̫͍͖̪̞͚ ͎̖̥͇O͕̩̯̠̹̜͖F̗͉͚͈̤ ̘̠͈̲̦͉̠M̝͈̰̥̹̗̯ͅY̻͕̳͔̠̟̼̙̣ ̜̗̩̼͓͖H̪͍̞͓̟̠̼̻E̥̰͕̳̣͉̪̭A͔D̗̮ ͔̜̜͙̤̹̩G̗̤͙̩̤̳E̜̗̥̼̲̺T̫͇̞̺̞ ̭̩̦̹̹̭O̭̯͉̫͎̻̮U̮͇͇͔̗T̞̭̦̼̗̹ ̜̪͖͍O̰͓͎̘̜̙͕F̞̝̖ ̩̟͖̭͍̦M̺̖̙̺Y͙̫̤̺̠̰ ̞̫̩

. (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵) <[SUBARASHI! ITADAKIMASU!]
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Crunchy Piss
You guys ever have a crunchy piss? Well, you must be wondering, "how does one have a crunchy piss"? Well, let me tell you. Imagine the texture of sand paper, mixed with the crunchiness of popcorn, coming out of you in liquid form, with a heat of over 100F. It's not fun.

Girls cannot poop
Ok so earlier today she said she was off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the ♥♥♥ up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ log, ♥♥♥♥♥ u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U ♥♥♥♥♥, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop ♥♥♥♥♥. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.

if you shmeeeeeeeeel