Your Steam profile made me masturbate furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened the steam app to your profile and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn’t contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.

I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly ♥♥♥♥♥♥ to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of ♥♥♥ and squirt, all because of YOUR profile.

-Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then i ran. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I’m not sure why some people have such under developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don’t want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on.

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pov: u caught me licking my toes while u were asleep next to me😴😩💦🍑
you: bae what are u doing?🤢

me: omg uhmm i was- there was a bit of poop in my toenail crack and i wanted to get rid of it😔

you: lemme see🤔😏

me: it’s almost gone but i can’t get this last bit out...u wanna,,help?🥺👉🏻👈🏻😏

you: damn babe u could have just said that you’re horny😩

me: no fr i can’t get rid of the poop😩😔

you: alright i’ll help🙄 /pulls out huge tongue and starts licking aggressively

me: thank u but this isn’t even the right toe🙄

you: DO U WANT YOUR TOES LICKED OR NOT?😡

me: well i do but get rid of the poop first, it’s icky 🙄

you: AHHH YOU’RE SOO COMPLICATED AND ANNOYING 👹😡

me: JUST GET RID OF THE POOP

you: /eats all my toes see? no poop left

me:😨

you: good night😴

håller med alan