BEANN
BEANN
 
 
So you think you're hardcore enough for Bean Battles? You think just because you did a couple tours in 'Nam and lost your best friends in the Korean war that you're grizzled enough for a game of this caliber? Let me tell you right now that this here is the ♥♥♥♥ing meat grinder of gaming. Bean Battles takes pathetic little virgin-eyed soy boy COD players and exposes them to the real world. It turns boys to men, and then turns men into warriors. No, actually ♥♥♥♥ that, it turns warriors into gods. It enlightens your mind like that LSD infused all-nighter you had in high school with your cute little buddies never could. This is blood-spilling, gut wrenching, sanity breaking action the likes of which you've never even seen or could ever imagine. This is the blood stained beaches of D-Day times 1,000. It takes every horror movie and war TV series you've seen, melts them into a fine paste, makes a club out of it, and clocks you in the ♥♥♥♥ing head. Wake up and smell the beans, ♥♥♥♥♥.

Welcome to the reality of war.

Welcome to Bean Battles.

Buckle the ♥♥♥♥ up.

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The Prophecy of how to Bean
This extraordinary lore while true and unparalleled in its beauty is incomplete and in need of further details. For it has bean too long since the passing of the bean knowledge. In this intrepid world of the beans, it is known that one bean will come to unite them all. This has bean prophesized by Ay bicam sonam in his sacred texts.


The Messiah of the bloody beans will walk among the beans in holy glory for this is the most beanevolent bean known to bean-kind. He lives to see the beans freed from the slavery of war, he breathes to give them happiness, and he would even bean willing to give up his life. This bean moves around with a beantiful smile beaneath his tinted glasses and his beanalicious hat. This bean oozes cool and powerful where ever he goes.


For this bean will do as the great Ay bicam sonam foretold, and will bring peace, tranquility, and democracy to the beans of the world. They will join him to build a great utopia that not any bean could imagine or comprehend unless they had bean there to see it. In this golden age of beans it will stop beaning what to kill but for a bean to ask what it is to bean or not to bean. Some unbeanavable beans will come from this society of untold glory.


This is all that I can say for the bean is to only give what one is fated to bean given. Hopefully in beantween now and the future the beans can hold out for their Messiah.
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broke the game
1
Favorite Game
5.8
Hours played
Comments
Ben Kenobi 30 Apr, 2015 @ 3:32am 
This guy here first friend ever to me me on steam