Recent reviews by The Smoking Bat

I have more hours on the DoW franchise than any other game. This does not include hours prior to my steam account, which is in the thousands.
With 2 decades of experience playing this series under my belt, I can CONFIRM that this Definitive Edition was made with love, care, and attention to detail.
Units now actually stay tf together when moving.
Details are a much higher count.
And I can use my 2540 X resolution! You can go higher than that though :)
Overall, this is worth the buy, even if you have the same amount of time as me. If you're new, welcome. You're in for a treat, because this is the KING of RTS games!

A game, where you can not only have fun with friends, but also roll around in a chair with casters, drive a forklift (yes you are certified), tame an eldritch horror with nachos, fight zealous religious mercs, and play a minigame when you poop, all in one.
This, is your mandatory SCP training video.

Nope. Just nope. Some people like it, but its not balanced as far as citizen needs go. Should have just been the one template and yet they basically require you to use different types of citizens which makes it messier. Combat is also a drag as well.

Compared to Aliens CM, this is the definitive Alien and Predator experience! We need another! MOAR!

This is still buggy a decade and change later and not in a good way. Until they fix it, which they won't, stay away.
And for context, yes, I played both console and PC. Theyre both bad.

OOGA BOOGA

Not worth it. its a shallow form compared to the original. And with the recent dev blog highlighting how busted the 3rd one will be, nah.

I really never understood what the hype was around this game till I picked it up and started playing it...very few games in early access capture my attention in such a way, yet this is one of them.
Satisfactory is a good parralel to this, in that the game is suprisingly stable and addicting in a good way despite still having a long way to go.
My advice? Honestly, go for it. I normally dont like souls like, but for a beginner into the genre like me, its like a coach. Not a professor or teacher, but a coach encouraging you to keep trying.
10/10, will keep!

As much as I would like to recommend this game, the game in question has not only not aged well, but had some questionable design choices that, by the standards of the time even were outdated.

For starters, there is no repair function that I could find to repair buildings. This was standard as far back as 93 when C@C first hit the scene.
2nd, the left mouse button. While this was a relic going as far back as the first age of empires, by the late 90s the right mouse button HAD become standard.
3rd, the pathfinding and map design is very linear and therefore units get bunched up quite a bit.

Units are delayed in responding to the enemy..due to the lineraity of the maps, advanced commands such as patrol, stand ground, do not engage etc, which had also become standard, are absent.

In short, this is not a good game. But some context as to why is necessary.

I know alot of these facts, because I was born and raised in the early 90s. During that time, 3DO, the original makers of this game, were in deep financial trouble. With a failed launch of a console and multiple games that took place in the Army Men universe, its probably safe to say that development of this game was living hell.
There are some gems in the Army men franchise dont get me wrong. After all, this WAS the call of duty before it even came about. Every year a new Army men game came out.

Unfortunately, the only ones I could honestly recommend, Army Men Air Attack 1 and 2 do not seem to be coming to Steam anytime soon BUT if they do, I would highly recommend getting them as they were the best ones I ever played.

But this? Unless you're more patient than I am, don't. Just don't. Again it pains me because this is my childhood franchise here, but thankfully I didn't have this one growing up...C@C generals was in my domain along with Age of Empires 2.

Here's why I'm not recommending this game.

I played the original around 2011ish. Years after it came out. Couldn't get into it then due to the bugs, cringe voice acting (yes I said it) and my god, the way leveling and the tedious mini games worked.
Alot of that still remains. All they really did is re-skin it in unreal. You would think they would have done more work to the inner engine, but nope...Why?

Nostalgia. That is their excuse.

That is not an excuse in this day and age. You want nostalgia? Spyro Reignited shows what a true remaster would be. Enhanced graphics, new voice overs, and virtually no bugs.

I got stuck from progressing past a door because of a bug. And got stuck at another because a bow got in the way.... a bow. And I couldnt pick it up for some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ reason.
The persuasion minigame makes no sense and is tedious, as is lockpicking.
The broken equipment mechanic should be optional. Before the keyboard warriors chime in, yes I said what I said. I shouldn't have to carry a dam hammer around.

But that's not all.
Turns out this game is poorly optimized for others with frequent stutters and crashes.

All because of an engine that SHOULD have been retired but still hasn't! I will concede that love was put into this by Virtuous. But Bethesda is not escaping this critique.
I can't believe I fell for the hype. Skyrim advanced the Elder Scrolls. But this?!

This makes me scared for VI and beyond.