They call me One Wipe. I was born in the small village of Garacad in Somalia. My father a humble pirate and my mother a ♥♥♥♥♥. Growing up, I would synthesize methanphetamine. Such was the size of my tumourous brain. When I was 15, I got arrested for selling meth and crack to my fellow 11 year old classmates. That's right. I had to repeat the fifth grade four times because of my superior intellect. Anyways, my dad paid the cops off because he could, and gave me a harsh beating. He told me that I had to move out to learn how to be a man, so I was illegally transported to the United States in a cargo ship a week later. The journey was rough. Unfortunately for me, my uncle Axmed was told to accompany me on my journey, and then ditch me in downtown Brooklyn, which is what he did, but not before sexually assaulting me the bastard.

Such is the way of life in Somalia. Your elders have full access to your anal cavity whenever they want. For my uncles that was usually in the middle of the night when everyone else was sleeping, hence my growth defect. You see, not getting enough sleep while growing up caused me to grow to a towering 5'2". Luckily for me, I boofed ten grams of meth and also popped a couple percs before my departure (the percs were imported from a contact who lives in the US). The high should last me a good amount of time before I pass the ♥♥♥♥ out lmao.